Month: May 2012

Realised I’d upset someone with a few of the comments yesterday and it’s probably the closest I’ve come to going back to a finished post and hacking bits out of it.

While I don’t talk that much, I always speak from the heart (I’m a terrible liar too) and try to say what I mean. Trouble is, when you’re forming impressions from very limited information, that’s when you can really upset people. Seemingly innocent phrases (like me getting called by my brother’s name) will kick the legs out from under people.

Been thinking about what made my old team so good to work in. We had such a good attitude that people wanted to work in our team. We worked hard under pressure from outside and above but worked together. The norm for my place is for people to do 18 months to 2 years in one place, then they’ll move on. I disagree with that (and call it Tourism) because it takes a while to figure out what you’re supposed to be doing. As soon as they do, the tourists leave and all that effort gone into teaching them is wasted.

My old team turned that around, with tourists turning into lifers. We care.

But what makes that team spirit ? It doesn’t come from the top. It comes from Worker Bee level. Worker Bees tend to be scared of their bosses. If one gets too friendly, we get suspicious. When one turns into a bully (this goes years back), then the Worker Bees come together.

We were very lucky to have a core of Worker Bees who set a tone that everyone followed. I like to consider myself as one of them, because of the always grinning at people thing, generally being an IT Guru willing and able to help with sensible suggestions to fix problems and I ran a few team building type things with the cricket. Oh and as an integrator, I had my fingers in just about everything in the project.

That’s what’s causing my increasing sense of isolation – I miss all that stuff and feel excluded from the team-y type stuff that happens. I need to feel a sense of being involved.

There was also Diablo, with me and Diablo forming our own little nucleus of crazy daft comments and Mad Scientist ideas that just got everyone else going.

We had The Boss, who was another one of us Worker Bees. She wasn’t the team leader but she told a succession of them what they’d be doing. She’s got her own special brand of empathy and is still one of very few people I’ll turn to when I need to talk heavy stuff.

About that heavy stuff – there’s a fair bit that goes on that I don’t put on here. Either because it’s too personal, too private or because it involves someone else’s secret.

Last of the Worker Bee Core but definitely not least – the Snow Queen. For a very long time, our Snow Queen was the Heart of our team. Someone who everyone (from team leader down) looked to. More than anyone else, she held us together over the years. When it looked a few years ago like her own place was becoming untenable a few things were going through my head :

Her friends and family and hubby make for an awesome support network that would help her through
It would break my own heart to see her leave
And it shattered that heart to have to advise her that leaving was the best of bad options
(the situation was not good)

That’s one thing about going off incomplete information or bad assumptions, it disrupts the advice that you give.

So that was the core of that team that worked so well over the years. People followed the lead of the Worker Bees. Top level management can arrange the people but if the people aren’t interested, then the team spirit doesn’t build. That’s not it though. We didn’t worry so much about the management though, we wanted to deliver something awesome. And we have.

I don’t see that so much from the team I’m in now. There’s no core of the team for other people to follow. Their finished product is a long way off.

I said stuff about Anti-Team yesterday and there are a few of those influences around. We managed to moderate them down through disapproval in the old team. That moderation doesn’t seem present in this team leading to the bad behaviour spreading. For the people who came with me from old team to new, it’s felt like a losing struggle trying to integrate.

Will I miss this team ? Still no.
Will I miss the people we brought with us from the old team who are getting left behind ? Hell Yeah.

Oh sweetheart – whenever I see that smile of your's, all is always forgiven 🙂

Just so want to help you get those problems off your mind instead of on it.

Perhaps she has a lot on her mind?

(quick edit and addition – I said a few things below which upset people – I wasn’t in a happy mood and took it out on people who didn’t deserve it. This much happier post says it so much better ! Missing the old team people already)

British Summer seems to have arrived …

And it’s been like someone’s switched on the microwave beam sunlamp. The temperature according to the car this afternoon was 28 degrees C. That’s up about 15 degrees C from the start of the week. Global warming 2012 style.

I didn’t play in the 2 games this week because of the bruising on my legs but after yesterday, kinda glad I wasn’t too. I don’t do that well in extreme cold or heat but at least you can wear extra layers when it’s cold. When it’s hot, all you can do is get air flow and lots of cold liquids. I’ll be on the milkshakes later.

Wasn’t feeling too great yesterday when I came home from work. We move office next week, which will hopefully be an improvement. There’s a selection of reasons why I’ll have few regrets about being away from the old floorplate :

Bad air. There just doesn’t seem to be much airflow, leading to excessive stuffiness.
Atmosphere. I was spoiled by how things were in my last team. This team has made us feel like we’ve invaded.

Will I miss the old floorplate ? Unlikely. I’ll miss a selection of the people like the Finance Angels and Miss F (they smile). But a lot of them need to seriously look at themselves and ask if they think their attitude is correct for an office. Like not ignoring messages in the hope that the person will go away (especially if that message is work related and is something the other needs to be aware of). Or being Anti-Team in attitude – and I’ve observed some of that on the old floorplate. They have a terrible superiority complex without actually having delivered anything to justify that.

No – I won’t miss the old floorplate. Hopefully the new one won’t be suffering from the same malaise.

Or it could be the time to go back to something I said ages ago – it could be time to move on both professionally and personally. (Personally ? Yes, I got bored of being shut out by the person I’d been unable to stop thinking about – has she changed so much ?)

Anyway. I’d intended for a while to get a few things sorted out and I’ve had some catalyst for that today. Workmen have been in to clear the debris from a long neglected back yard. Need to stay on top of that so it doesn’t get out of control again. Or maybe even do something with it – could be good to lounge out there in the fresh air, reading a book with the cricket commentary or music on in the background.

Other stuff I need to do is :

Get rid of a huge amount of old rubbish in the house
Scare the vacuum by actually using it
Possibly replace fridge/freezer,
Possibly replace washing machine
Definitely replace loo*
Get car serviced
Rearrange main room

*I’ll have the chance over the Diamond Jubilee break to do some of this stuff, although the next time I can get the bin emptied comes in almost a fortnight.

But in the meantime, it’s cutting into my end-of-loan car fund but it’ll be worth it to have the light able to come in from the back yard instead of it being blocked by foliage.

Time to see if the ice cubes have refrozen 🙂

I’ve been back in the gaming lately.

I have a few names which I’ve started recycling around characters when I’m gaming. Most of them are girls names, because – hey, given the choice wouldn’t you want to be looking at something gorgeous all game ? That also goes for the voice acting. When it comes to a Mass Effect play through, I’d much rather listen to the silky tones of Jennifer Hale than the alternative, Mark Meer.

One thing about Skyrim is that while there’s quite a bit of voice acting in the game, the main character has no voice. Not in a Gordon Freeman strong but silent hero (from the Half Life games), you can talk to people but it just comes up as text. There’s no sound with it.

Names. What names do I use ? I’ve settled on a small selection :

Mages/Wizards get called Iceangel. I feel that’s a strong but cold name.
Warriors are Bashara. As in, “Bash” plus a bit of trollification. Or “Ba – sher – a” as one Scandinavian accent said it. (Hello Cloudberry!)
Hunter types get called Finlay, after a myth. Thought it was a cool name, it just happened to have an appropriate myth attached to it.
(that’s actually the true test – does it sound cool)
Keela – is the name for my priest/cleric characters. This was chosen randomly by a D&D character creator programme and I liked it enough that it became my Eve character name.

And there’s a couple more character names too. My Sith sorceror got called “Morrd”. Stealthy characters use “Nocimi”.

Wait – this was supposed to be a picture post to tide me over while it was too hot to think straight :

That’s Bashara, deciding whether or not to investigate* a strange outpost in the middle of the Skyrim countryside. Skyrim is a massive game. You’ll be running from A to B or town to next quest location. But on the way … what’s that over there ? Let’s go have a look shall we ? This is no on-the-rails RPG like Deus Ex HR or even Mass Effect. It’s a completely open world filled with :

Curious strongholds to investigate*
Interesting people to say hello to
And lots of dead bodies to loot

*(yes – Investigate is usually followed by “why you try to kill me?” followed by aggressive negotiation a la Jedi. If they don’t want visitors, they should put up “No soliciting” signs !)

I got a little bored with Bashara though. I couldn’t really get into the melee combat system. It’s more player skill orientated than I believe a RPG should be, with it being more luck than judgment too.

Definitely beware. That would be Iceangel, who is an entirely different can of whoop ass. She uses bunnies as target practice. (They’re tricky little critters ! They bounce all over the place)

This scene was a good example of the voice acting. It’s not often that voice acting goes as far as singing. Yet in Skyrim there’s a good few minstrels around that prop up the inns.

Oh and the Skyrim Iceangel also snipes birds off statues.

I’ve been rather enjoying Skyrim since restarting as the mage.

PS Clicking on the pictures will hopefully get them opening bigger (must peek at the settings again). The originals are 1080p and I think highest detail. It’s a very pretty game, which just adds to the sense of immersion. Trudging through a blizzard feels Hard.

Been getting some amusement over the past few days …

I’ve been getting guesses out of people for how old they think I am. It’s usually as a follow on to me saying that I’m too old to be throwing myself around a cricket field.

It’s been good for the soul too, as the age guesses have been placing me at around 28-30. (“Or even younger” as one said today). That’s really good to hear, as about 6 months ago that age guess range was 32-34. It gives a bit of truth to the saying that losing weight can take years off your age, as over that 6 month period, I’ve lost a stone. I haven’t broken through the 13 stone barrier yet (that won’t happen until after the cricket season) but I’m stable there.

Good times.

It must be something in my genes. As it has absolutely nothing to do with me :

Looking after myself properly (outside of snacking less)
Lack of stress (work pushes me and I push myself harder)
Funny chemicals and other “beauty” products
Getting exercise for keep fit stuff (that just seems to wear people out)

I do avoid a lot of the common poisons like drink (prefer taste of cola), nicotine (smoking is a really nasty habit all round) and drugs (of all kinds). I’ve never smoked because I figured early on that it would wreck lungs that are already not great. I avoid alcohol now, except for special occasions, because my IBS is controllable except when I drink. And I very rarely take drugs of any kind, be it medicinal or recreational.

So I don’t really have any magic formula for looking young, except – Keep a positive attitude, avoid the vices.

I don’t feel that young though. I definitely feel my 37 years and then some, with most of my damage being on the inside. Even with the bruising from last week, the spectacular bruise is the one that’s least of a problem. That said though, after yesterday putting myself to “reserve only” (i.e. let someone else have a game) for this week’s cricket, I’m feeling improved today.

Wonder how much of that is down to having the chance to grin at four!* lovely ladies at our contractor’s office today ? It’s not all about the grinning though, we had the chance to talk through and sort out some issues.

*(two because three became four as I remembered a couple more that I’ve known from Way Back on this project. Erm – make it 5 cos of Doreen on the front desk too)

Oh – I have a youtube channel now. I have to admit, I only made it so I could comment on a youtube video. But … you never know. I’ve been enjoying the Dodger Coffeh Time vlogs a lot over the past couple of weeks. They feel like what this blog would be like if I did it with video. It’s become essential viewing, at the end of every Coffeh Time vlog, Dodger will wish us a wonderful day. And you know what ? The day feels so much brighter for that.

So – dunno if I’ll post any webcammy type videos to that youtube channel (if I do, I’ll add a link to the list). It won’t be gameplay video as I tend to fade in and out of games. Could be an occasional vlog as that would let me show what I mean with some of the cricket stuff. But something I would inflict people with – karaoke !

Now there’s a threat that’ll make people run away screaming. MUAHAHA.

This one’s spotted from the Facebook feed 🙂 And from the TBB blog (post linked here) too. The theme of the meme is “What’s in your cd wallet ?” and asks :

Name a cd you own that no one else on your friends list does. (This will get linked on to my Facebook as soon as I post)

That sets the boundaries as things like – no mainstream, unusual albums and avoiding everyone else’s favourites.

First on the list and my banker has to be Attic Vaults 1 by Alisha’s Attic. I’ve mentioned this one before, it’s a collection of half finished demos and songs that never made B-side or album. And honestly, they should have. It’s an ultra rare album and it still has some excellent songs on it. Oh ! Here’s one of the best on Youtube.

Michelle Shocked – Texas Campfire Tapes
Gene Roddenberry & Co – Star Trek Motion Picture convention tapes
(it came as a freebie with the Motion Picture soundtrack)
Cardigans – iTunes original collection
(think greatest hits but with interviews that make it more than just a track collection)
Norah Jones – iTunes original collection
(and I am cheating with that last pair)

Ennio Morricone soundtracks – The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. I have this movie recorded and need to watch it again soon. Watched it first as a kid with my dad, brother and sister and we were transfixed from start to finish. Brilliant movie.
Basil Poledouris ain’t bad either – the Conan The Barbarian (with Arnie, not Jason) soundtrack is special.

Duffy – Rockferry. No. Not the main album, the bonus disc 🙂
Everything But The Girl – Baby, the Stars Shine Tonight. And there’s a good reason no one else will have this
Pink Floyd – Animals.
Bix Beiderbecke – The Beiderbecke Affair. Soundtrack from a brilliant series from the 80s.
The Best Rock Ballads … Ever – collection disc
Morcheeba – Blood Like Lemonade (this is one of the new ones)
T’Pau – Rage. Probably a better album than their first but with less stand-out tracks.

Hannah Peel – The Broken Wave. If you like female vocals and haven’t got this ? Check it out NOW.

Seasonal :
Elaine Paige – Christmas
Joan Baez – Noel
Hannah Peel – Hey Santa
(moving swiftly on …)

Chopin’s Preludes
Elgar’s Pomp & Circumstance marches (am a sucker for singing along to Last Night of the Proms)
2001 soundtrack
Peer Gynt by Grieg

Cults by the Cults – another new one but I don’t think they got as trendy as fast as The XX.
Little Boots – Hands. If you don’t have this in your collection, it’s a tragedy.
Voice of The Beehive – Honey Lingers. This has the track “I’m Shooting Cupid” and sometimes lately, I feel like shooting him too !
Sleeper – Smart. I have all their albums now.
Dubstar – Pleased to Meet You. Same with Dubstar 🙂 Sarah Makes It Better.
All About Eve – Return To Eden. To be honest, the only thing that makes this raid into the AAE back catalogue worth it is the Devil Woman cover. Grab the live albums instead if you want a collection.

Buffy – Once More With Feeling. Ok, I know at least one friend will have this (RCA!)
Star Wars soundtracks – Ep1 and the old movies. 7 cds.
Sucker Punch soundtrack – surprisingly well matched to a movie I must watch again after the latest Star Wars rewatching.
Mindy Gledhill – The Sum Of All Grace. Open, honest, personal religion can be very beautiful.

And I’ll close with an Edie Brickell album that I grew up with and got close to wearing out : Ghost Of A Dog.

PS RIP Robin Gibb – sadly I have no Bee Gees in my collection … at all !

Managed to sneak the following exclamation out of someone at work a couple of days ago :

“Pete – weren’t you wearing protection ?”

With the mucky parts of my mind immediately going to naughty connotations of that instead of the innocent explanation of showing off the bruises. (They’re far more spectacular now too than they were Thursday)

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about the protection cricketers wear before (and after I’m done here, I may go peeking to remember what I wrote) and it had this picture with it :

That’s the protective gear I currently have and, if you also include shoes and knee pads, it’s all I use. There’s a fine balance between having too little protection and having so much that it gets in your way.

There’s a fair bit of other kit available for batting, things like chest guards, arm guards, thigh pads. But I don’t use them. I’ve used an arm guard in the past and been hit heavily on the arm twice. But all the arm guard did was get in the way. Both times I was hit, it missed the arm guard :

Wrist – it hit my watch and smashed it (cheap n nasty Timex)
Elbow – numbed the lower arm, possibly chipped the bone

A thigh pad (a cushion stuffed down your trousers) may have been handy but with my chunky legs … it ain’t gonna fit. At least not with some of the pairs of whites I have. I’ve always rejected chest protectors because they’d interfere with my breathing too much.

The best protection is always : “Get outta the way”. And wearing too much gear will slow you down to the point where you will get hit when you’d have otherwise got out of the way.

Fielding is a bit different. I’ve always had weak knees (legacy of rugby at school and muscles that developed before joints) so I wear knee protection. I think this is actually one of the causes of the leg infection last year, because the new ones were too tight. The knee pads are also there to give padding when I let cricket balls bounce off my knees. Trouble is, for the two hits Wednesday and Thursday, the padding wasn’t in the right place.

That’s the “too much” vs “just enough” again – you could go out there like the Michelin man but if you can’t run, you’re no good. Because of the damage to my shoulder, the only advantage I have on the field now is my speed. Too much protection would slow me down to the point of being useless out there.

Helmets are similar – the first batting helmets were effectively motorcycle helmets. For cricket, that’s no good because you need to be able to hear the calling for runs. I.e. miss the “yes”, miss the “no”, miss the inevitable “sorry”.

Think that’s enough for today. I’d consider wearing shin pads on the field and they may just have saved the superficial (but spectacular) bruise on my right leg. But for the one on my left leg, it would have hit between shin pad and boot. I.e. too much protection for too little benefit.

And seeing the autocomplete come up for that title, I’m about to hunt through the archives (657 posts) to see where I used it before …

First games of the season are always tough for me physically, even before I get in the way of the ball and hurt myself. I’ve appreciated the chance to do very little today except watch the cricket while simultaneously watching videos from the gamer people.

One thing that struck me during the TGS podcast was the difference between what gamers look for in their fun and what gym people look for in their chosen past time. They were criticizing Diablo 3 not for being cursed by a daft always-online restriction but for being too samey. In a lot of games (I can’t talk for Diablo 3 because I don’t intend to buy it) the game suffers due to repetition. The gameplay life of the game is extended by repeating the same maps over and over again but with only very subtle differences.

Yawn. I gave up on Diablo 1 early due to that. Random map ? Annoying. Same enemies ? Yawn. Different colour but exact same enemies just tougher ? Watupwidat ?

Mass Effect 1 suffered from this a bit by the side quest missions being set in prefab buildings. Which makes sense for the setting but it’s incredibly boring going into Prefab Garage 89 after Prefab Garage 1,2,3,4etc, with the variation being Underground Bunker Prefab or Standard Space Freighter. That didn’t make Mass Effect 1 a bad game but it did make it somewhat Grindy. (Where the game duration is extended through repetition)

Ok – what makes that comparable to gym people ?

I don’t go to a gym. Never have. Although I can run Very Fast, I’ve never done jogging training either (I should do). The reason is that I can’t stand that repetition thing. If the aim of the session is to do 50 push ups, 30 sit ups, 100 reps on Equipment A, 100 reps on Equipment B, 10km on the bike – that to me is boring as hell. Apart from “I want to get fitter”, there is no real aim to it.

Sport is much better than Exercise for the sake of it. I’d like to be as good as I can be on a cricket field. I have the potential to be a very effective batsman at my level and the core speed to be a better fielder. It doesn’t come out at the moment. So my aim is to unlock that potential and prove to myself that I can still get runouts. I’m a harder person to please than the rest of the two teams I’m involved in.

When I look back at the two games this week, I can see all sorts of ways I could improve in terms of skill. If I’d spent that time in a gym, all I could improve is number of reps or time taken. I’m stiff as hell at the moment but I feel like I’ve earned it.

And through that, I’ve earned the opportunity to have a chill out.

Wait – games vs exercise. Exercise is solely against yourself. Games (both sport and online multiplayer) are all about being up against other people. Your skill vs their skill. If you win, you feel like you’ve earned it. (But don’t forget to remember a “yeah, we lost to better opponents, we’ll try harder next time”)

Cricket’s over for the day now so the music’s gone on. I owe you guys a music post sometime soon but before that, what new stuff has appeared ?

Maroon 5 – I’ve been pleasantly surprised by these guys. Their Songs About Jane was an excellent album and their Hands All Over is pretty good too. I just picked up their “It Won’t Be Soon Before Long”. It’s not my favourite Female Vocal + Band type theme but the variation makes them great to listen to.

Morcheeba – is more variation in the way that Portishead is variation. They’re both very different and with a brain that works like mine (great memory can be a bitch sometimes for avoiding boredom) that variation makes me sit up, listen and sing along.

Air – Pocket Symphony came along at the same time as the Maroon 5 album (2 for £10!). It’s more variation.

Saying “variation is good” though, I’m looking forward to listening to some Cardigans, Alisha’s Attic, All About Eve and Kate Bush (old ones, the new ones suck) albums again.

PS Physically ? I think I’m about to start improving there. Thighs still feel like iron but I think tomorrow they’ll start to forgive me. Hands are bruised, as are the legs. Right shin has spectacular bruising. Back and shoulder are sore (snafu). Will I make Wednesday’s game with all that ? Should do 🙂

Wariness of being an early adopter is appropriate to all things but the tech world in particular.

Tech tends to be all about getting the shiniest devices or the flashiest games to the market as quickly as possible, so money can be made from the latest iGadget. Speed is vital because if the iPhone 67 comes out before Android v34, iPhone 67 gets all the attention and all the sales.

And that’s how it’s been with the phones and tablets recently – the iPad and iPhone got to the market early and got seen as The Item to have. To be fair to Apple there, they got it bang on with their early devices and it’s only on the more recent ones (iPhone 4 Antenna-gate, 4g support etc) that they’ve got caught out from rushing a device to market before it’s truly ready as Apple’s software and design quality control has dropped.

The game world gets hit very badly by this too. On my shelf, there’s a game called Master of Orion 3. There were 7 long years before the essential and incredible Moo2 got its sequel Moo3. But when Moo3 did come out, it was a massive letdown in both gameplay (which was atrocious – it played itself with no input possible from the player) and stability. Even worse was Championship Manager 3, which was a bug ridden pile of filth. To show what I think of CM3, I will break my no swearing rule :

CM3 was an abomination that the developers should have been ashamed of. Out of the box, it was barely playable through half a season if you were lucky. It was a steaming pile of crap, which was followed by the developers throwing even more manure at us through full price sequels that fixed hardly any of the bugs in the original CM3. It was a disgrace to gaming and the developers are very lucky they’re still in business.

Yes – I wasted my cash on several of those sequels in the hope I’d finally get a playable game. Didn’t happen.

What makes it worse is that the magazine reviews said it was awesome. I’m a firm believer that the magazines don’t actually play the same games as the ones that end up on the shelf. Or they’re so much in the pocket of the publishers that they suppress the bad points. This is what makes the opinion of people like Totalbiscuit ever more important, as he’s honest about what he thinks about a game. If it’s a stinker, he lets us know. If it’s really bad, he’ll rant which can be hilarious.

Yet we still see people going down the early adopter route.

Sticking to the game world – Diablo 3 came out this week and people will have been seeing it hit the headlines for all the wrong reasons. The developer, Blizzard, have a mantra “we shall release when it’s ready”. In Diablo 3’s case, that appears to have been replaced by “we shall beat the competition to release date”. The game isn’t finished and the infrastructure wasn’t up to the release loading :

Missing pvp – I wouldn’t be bothered by this but I know others see it as essential
Missing auction house – this was a major feature
Inability to play – it’s an online only game and the servers weren’t letting people in

That “inability to play” is something where the pirates have spoiled our fun by the way. It’s an anti-copy mechanism that is aimed at stopping people freeloading. But that’s me getting sidetracked.

Early adoption syndrome hits all sorts of things.

The early hybrid cars weren’t particularly worth having as they didn’t have enough power. It’s only on Gen3 Prius (which forms the basis mechanically for my Lexus CT) where they got enough power to get great economy and great flexibility. People who switched early to HD tellies got tellies that don’t have all the dots to let them be sharp. Similar with my amp, early adopters wouldn’t have got HD quality sound.

And you’ll see people all the time get caught out by rushing to buy the latest and greatest new gadget. Take care when you see Shinies, waiting before jumping will :

Let you get it cheaper
Let you sensibly think – will I actually use this ?
Often get you something more polished
Allows other people to find out it’s a stinker before you open your wallet

But then again, we are talking Shinies here … and Shiny Gadgets are very tempting indeed.

PS I’m getting the stiffness after the games now. May not be able to move much over the weekend (not a problem – cricket’s on telly). Thighs and hamstrings feel like they’re on fire, bruise on right shin now extends over 9 inches. Bruise on left shin hasn’t come out yet. Will I be fit for Wednesday’s game ? We shall see. Fingers crossed.