Month: January 2014

I think I’ve fallen into that trap a fair bit lately. I’ve been talking about stuff like the skin or when people talk to me about playing cricket, it’s how I don’t honestly know if I’ll be intact enough to play this year.

There’s only one thing guaranteed when talking about problems, it’s probably going to get you down. Mind you, talking about them also helps you rationalise them as well. It lets you analyse them and put them in their place. It’s always best though if there’s a “ok, this is how I deal with it” to go with the “this is what the problem is”. And that doesn’t always happen.

Ok – about these joys …

Running Fast ! I can do that again :-). Well, I can on and off depending on whether my legs and back are choosing to behave that day. Running was actually the thing I enjoyed most about the cricket. I didn’t really enjoy batting as I never really did myself justice with it. The bowling was fine when I was getting wickets but was hard work otherwise.

Nah – the thing I enjoyed most about the cricket was being able to push the head back, hit the running trigger and run Very Very Fast. I quite liked the adrenaline rush and always busy feeling of fielding in close. I’d be scampering all over the place (cricket can be a very energetic game depending on how you approach it).

I very much enjoy winning and turning that running speed and close fielding into a run out was very definitely a Win for our side.

I must see about trimming the weight down a bit again so I get that running speed back again. There’s a kind of freedom to running like a loon. I wouldn’t find that from jogging, it has to be from feeling the wind rush past the ears coupled with the “oh crap, I’ll be in the centre of Bristol before I can stop” which I’d been getting from hitting the downslope at the cricket ground.

Games …

People who know me may think I love playing with computers. That’s probably a misnomer as I find dealing with computers quite frustrating. I can usually eventually get them to do what I want but it can be very hair tearing along the way to get around their lack of flexibility. I’ll build my own because that way I can lessen some of that frustration by building something that will work for years instead of break after 6 months (like your typical HP garbage)

It’s actually all about the games. Computers are just a means to an end there. They present the games to you. In recent years, the variety has opened up with independent developers bringing us magic like FTL and SPAZ. Better hardware means graphical fidelity gives us stuff like :

There’s some fine looking assets in that game and Lara looks the part too. (Yep – couldn’t resist the bad assets joke). I must go back into that game and take it through to the finish. It’s been compelling so far but I’ve already seen it through to the end via the Yogscast Hannah playthrough.

That’s something else about the games. Lately, I’ve been enjoying watching/listening to other people play them more than I do actually playing them. Much of that is down to the presenter. Like Hannah’s openness in her videos, to the banter in the Yogscast multiplayer videos, to Duncan’s screaming when he turns round and sees a creeper exploding.

That’s all dependent on the presenter though. Not many deliver stuff you’d actually re-watch or watch to conclusion. I guess the Youtube gaming makes me think about playing the pen and paper games with friends. There’s an openness there that comes with being able to make up your own rules if the written ones don’t fit. And the fun of playing with others too.

One thing about games though is the story. Most games have a story they go through, even if it’s a strategy game. I like stories too. Haven’t read much lately but movies and TV scifi are always a favourite.

What else ? Has to be music. I’ve been finding new stuff to listen to lately as well. Playing through iTunes at the moment is the Best Of Nouvelle Vague. They’re the ones who do “Ever Fallen In Love” and “Dancing With Myself” which are doing the rounds on adverts at the moment.

There’s also Lucy Spraggan, who I’ll add to the vocalists I’ll be following. However – I wouldn’t recommend having her on the iPod/iPhone while in the car, as songs like Tea Or Toast almost got the tears when that came on at random. Not Conducive To Safe Driving !

The big joy though shouldn’t surprise anyone.

I get bored very quickly. I need variation and unpredictability. There’s only so much you can take of yourself before you need something new. I find people to be one of the most interesting things out there. Depends on the person of course ;-). I can predict a few people but it’s the unusual, the special, the smart, the random ones I find most interesting. The ones who can keep up. The ones who keep you guessing. The ones who are just that little bit different. The ones with an energy that sweeps you along with them. But most of all :

The ones who smile back when you look up and grin at them.

That answering smile is truly what makes life worth living.

PS Pizza would count as a joy too, if it hadn’t snuck into the “problem” corner. Thankfully popcorn, mini eggs and teacakes are still untainted by such problems !

I’ve been feeling lucky again.

I’ve had my eye on the blanket coverage we had about F1 star Michael Schumacher. You can’t have missed that, he’s still in hospital in critical condition following a head injury. From what I understand, he was skiing off-piste to help someone out and ended up going head over heels at 40mph ish, hitting a rock on the way down which was too much for his helmet to handle. I think I heard that he was conscious when on the way to the hospital too.

And he’s still in critical condition a week later, having had brain surgery to relieve the pressure and to address skull fractures.

Hopefully he’ll recover to be the same Michael Schumacher we loved or loathed. To be honest, I was in the loathing camp for a while because he was just That Darn Good. He took championships away from Brit drivers (and I’m a fervent supporter of Brit drivers, hopefully Lewis will come good in next year’s Merc). Yep – hopefully he’ll be let out of that coma soon, as the same person he was before.

Why does that incident promote feelings of luck in me ?

I’ve had similar impacts … three times. Hopefully I’m still the same Sleepypete that I was 10 years ago, although there is that nagging question : “Is this why Ravenwolf left ?” (I don’t honestly believe it is). Let’s look at the incidents :

Schumacher – rock at maybe 40mph (I get the feeling it was faster) with a helmet on. Skull fractures and brain injuries. Still in hospital. Ouch !

Nose Job 1 (my first hit) – cricket ball at 60mph (ish), no helmet. Hit me in the eye, with my glasses saving me from more major injury. I stayed conscious but got helped off the field and was carted off to hospital. Suffered memory problems for maybe 18 months afterwards.

Happy Helmet (second hit) – cricket ball at probably 70mph (quicker bowler!), hit the helmet on the grill. Without the helmet, I’d have been hit maybe above the right ear and would have been in hospital again for sure. Probably would have been knocked out by that one – it’s a thin, sensitive part of the skull. I kept batting throughout the game (mostly because the bowler that hit me was nasty and probably would have run through our team) and only came off the field after we won. I was happily absorbing the nastiest bowling and hitting singles before watching the guys at the other end murder the bowling. Oh and I nearly threw up in the changing room after the game.

Almost-Dentist (third hit) – cricket ball at maybe 60mph again, no helmet. Hit me in the gob. I’m seriously lucky there not to have lost teeth. Lots of blood though, enough that I should have gone off to the hospital to get a stitch. I lost my sense of hunger for 2 weeks after that impact and was woozy enough to take the Friday off work (got hit on the Wednesday).

Is it fair comparing a cricket ball to a rock ? Yes and no. The cricket ball is hard enough (definitely in a match ball) but it’s completely round. I suspect the rock that got Schumacher was pointy enough to break the helmet.

I did have long term effects after getting hit without the helmet but I was very lucky to only have my nose broken. I dread to think what would have happened if I wore contacts … That’s a scary thought for that first hit.

What am I really trying to say here ?

If you know someone who’s suffered a very recent head injury, keep an eye on them. Quietly check to see if they’re still all in there. They may not realise themselves how bad the effects are. With my two helmet-less incidents, I certainly didn’t realise the memory problems until a few years later and I only noticed the inability to feel hunger state when :
a) hearing earthquakes from my tummy with no feelings of “need food”
b) nearly bursting after finishing a big pizza
(weird huh ?)

If someone’s had a bump on the head, their condition can change very rapidly too. An initial state of concussion (bruising from the marbles being rattled) can change into compression (swelling that’s trapped in by the skull) very quickly. Thankfully while concussion is common, compression is less so. Compression is however, extremely dangerous. There’s a triage saying : “Treat the quiet ones first” and it’s partly targeted at injuries like compression.

I think I upset someone a few years ago. She came back from an Xmas break and admitted to banging her head on a door handle and was sitting on the floor out of it for a bit with no one to see if she was ok. That triggered a definite Protect instinct and I probably told a few more people than she’d have liked me to. People I knew would keep an eye on our girl to make sure she was ok. I very rarely betray confidences like that but … it’s a head injury. Someone I care about quite deeply could have turned seriously ill.

With my two bad incidents, Ravenwolf had that eye on me the first time but for the second – I felt a bit neglected. Unloved maybe ? That might be unfair. I’ve always been incredible at hiding the symptoms when something’s affecting me and for that second incident, I was functioning perfectly well until the Friday when I let myself settle into a clouded dazed state.

I must peek at what I put here in the days around that second incident. It wasn’t as bad as the first, the neurological symptoms only lasted about a fortnight whereas I think my memory is still affected.

But – I do still feel lucky. Incidents like Schumacher, the Paul Williams paralysis (club cricketer) and Mark Boucher’s (South African wicket keeper) career ending eye injury show that it could have been much, much worse.

For what I hear you think ?

Almost time to reenter the world. I’ve been having a quiet holiday period … which was (almost!) totally the plan. I’ve not been getting up to much, partly because it’s been horrible out there but mostly because I’ve been wanting to give my various conditions chance to recover and improve.

Condition(s) ?

I always seem to catch bugs that hit at the start of holiday periods. I guess that’s due to me winding down in general. A kind of suppression of the immune system that lets the bugs in. I reckon it might be a heavier grade of manflu this time around, it’s actually still with me 2 weeks later. It’s not affecting me too much, although if I went out and did stuff, I’d run out of batteries very quickly.

So being inside not exerting myself too much has been helping out there.

The skin’s been improving too. More a general improvement, it’s not fixed yet but it’s getting there. There are less patches for me to worry about and the skin’s getting more resilient (and pastywhite!) in general. We’ll see how it copes with going back to work.

In a way, that’s another step closer to reentering the world from a different perspective.

So what have I been doing ? Except for being very quiet here … It’s unusual for me to take so much of a break between posts. That could be a sign of how mentally tired I allowed myself to get. Plus I really don’t want to bore you all with posts of “Level 80 today ! Yey me !” cos you really don’t want to know what I’m doing in an online game. Do you ? (Let me know !) I have been watching selected Yogscast livestreams. They’re over now having raised over $1 million. Great effort, highlights for me were the Hannah & Kim streams and the Zoey Drunkasheck stream. The best livestreams are where they’re relaxed, enjoying the games and including the viewer. It’s about the banter more than the game.

This time of year is dominated by sales …

I’ve been mostly behaving myself there. Sure, I’ve added a few games to the collection but I’ve avoided getting stuff I don’t really need. I have my eye on a telly upgrade … That’s serious cash. The strange thing about my current system is 3d :

Bluray player – supports playing back in 3d
Amplifier – can send the 3d signals through to the telly
(I don’t honestly know how it would handle that, given that I’ve pretty much isolated the dvd playback problem to the amp)
Telly – is the only thing that can’t handle 3d.

It’s a 32 inch LCD display that is acceptable to look at from across the room in the pooter station but could do with being bigger. That’s the main motivation for looking at new ones, a 46 inch or a 50 inch would be … spectacular and probably too big for the room.

I’ve waited this time around though. I don’t actually need a new telly yet in the same way as 2 tellys ago when I had one that misread “letterbox” and went “pillarbox” instead. Besides the general rule with things like tellys is that if you wait around, something better will come. It’s a natural progression of technology :

My telly – LCD. LED was available for £100s more and 3d was just entering the market
Tellys in the shops – LED is mainstream, 3d is the £100s more option and 4k tellys are entering the market.
Tellys in a couple of years – 3D tellys will be mainstream and 4k tellys will push the prices of 3D tellys down.

Why get 3d ? Personally, I think 3d TV and 3d cinema is a gimmick. Although, to be ruthlessly honest, I haven’t watched a whole movie in 3d (just demos in shops) and 3d glasses on top of my normal glasses is probably not the best idea. However, to support 3d a better quality of display is needed. A higher refresh rate is needed to get the side by side images that create the 3d effect. And with higher refresh rates come a more stable image.

However – Smart tv ? I think this is even more of a gimmick than 3d tv. A tv should be a display device, nothing more. Why ? Because a tv remote is nowhere near capable of supporting iplayer, let alone anything like web browsing or email. That’s what laptops, desktop PCs and tablets are for. The TVs job is to allow showing the image from the computer on the screen without hassle.

(Incidentally, this is why I’ll be avoiding Panasonic tellys – the interface on my dad’s Panasonic telly is Nasty and provoked the only application crash I’ve seen on the Macbook so far)

So – no big spend but a reasonable number of games have added themselves to the collection. Big ticket ones are XCOM Declassified (a third person shooter type) and Tomb Raider. I also picked up the space package from GoG. The best thing about GoG.com is the soundtracks that often come with the game. Even if I don’t play the game, it’s worth it for that extra music and in the case of games like The Witcher, it’s quite excellent music.

I’ve also been in Warcraft a fair bit – just five character levels, 70ish enchanting levels and 85ish tailoring levels until I hit the latest content. I’ll make a dent in that in a bit although I’m wanting to start off another character soon to avoid one-character-boredom. I’ll be avoiding raiding (the multiplayer content) still, as watching raid content on the Yogscast livestream reminded me why the end game content turned me off the game.

What am I doing at the moment ? It’s still raining outside … You’ll have seen stuff in the news about the weather getting more extreme. In Blighty, we’re suffering lots of rainstorms as a result of conditions over in the USA. They get extreme snow and the warm/cold stuff makes the air currents that run from West Atlantic to Europe more energetic.

I don’t believe climate change is resulting in “global warming” but I think the climate is attempting to balance itself through higher energy. So we get more extreme storms. I’m ok here, there’s flooding around the Bristol area but I’m on a reasonably high position and the area has good drainage.

I think I’ll leave it with …