Month: April 2014

Lol – so … many … books …

I noticed that my Wish List had reduced – so I've added a few more… [grin]

Chilling on the couch,

Eating all the popcorn,

Enjoying a movie 🙂

It’s been a long time since I’ve actually sat on my sofa. Because of my skin condition, which is now hopefully receding, I’d been sitting on the floor or on my pooter chair but not on the sofa. I was avoiding that because I’d been leaking and that coulda wrecked me sofa. It’s an old sofa, the springs are starting to break … but it’s my sofa. And I didn’t want to wreck it.

But … sofa time ! Yey !

Good job too cos sitting on that floor was having nasty effects on my hips. If anything stops me playing cricket this summer, it’s probably going to be those hips. Problems there mean I can’t turn which makes me useless where I field.

What’s the movie ? We’ll get to that later. Before though … my poorly leg’s been feeling much better 🙂 I’ve not had the signals from the muscles that say they’re feeling that cramp. So … I took ’em on a walk today. Just around the centre of Bristol.

I like moseying around the shops, although I don’t actually go in many of them. I’m also looking at the people too. I don’t think I actually did that too much today. Must have been in thought … I did get a few smiles out of people though. Which is always good.

Lots of traffic though, it was enough that I could listen (and sing along to) two songs between hitting the stops in the traffic and getting to the car park. Two awesome songs mind, anyone remember Alannah Myles Black Velvet ? The other was Alive by Goldfrapp.

Good job I didn’t wind the window down. The other drivers would have been terrified by my singing along. We’re also suffering from Smog at the moment, although that seemed to have dispersed by this afternoon. I’ve been able to literally taste it in the air, yesterday and this morning at least. Smog is nasty. I’m doing my bit ! (points to hybrid car – lol)

I actually bought stuff too –

New albums :
Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Wanderlust – 2 for £15 strikes
Agnes Obel – Aventine – found this singer on a freebie pack and Close Watch immediately hit me as something special
Christina Perri – Head Or Heart – heard it in HMV, liked it, waited until I got home and bought it for half the price
Star Trek Into Darkness soundtrack – great film, loved it

New movies :
Rush – not seen this one, looking forward to it. I watched a real life documentary about its subject and was intrigued. It also enabled a 2 for £25 …
Man Of Steel – also not seen it but heard a lot of good things about it.
Hunger Games – Catching Fire – amazed this one was in 2 for £25 …

It’ll take a while before I get to listen or watch all that but it will happen ;-).

Movie tonight ? I’m watching Ender’s Game. It’s a scifi movie set 50 years from roughly now (there are F35’s in some scenes). I’m sure I’ve written about this one before some time ?

Great movie. It builds steadily from simple beginnings into massive battles at the end. It looks amazing too plus it brings through most of the psychology that drove the book. A book I haven’t read (yet!) mind 😉

Back to the movie ! Almost …

In case I don’t mention it – Happy Birthday CK on Monday ! I visited Amazon today but I suspect it won’t arrive until or after Monday 🙁 (must order these things earlier …)

See – now your 2nd statement is true….. [grin]

Lol – depends on point of view …

Then again, our imperfections are what make us interesting. They're our quirks, our strange habits, our distinguishing features.

Word to the wise – no one is perfect.

Indeed 😉 (Warning – Deep Thoughts Post !)

I have something I could write but it’s whiny and therefore doesn’t deserve to see the light of day here. Except for a snippet …

I have a couple of super powers … The first is one I talk about a fair bit – the Contagious Grin. It’s still getting victims ! Now if only I could get it down on camera … Whatever selfies I take of me are … screen shatterers. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t blessed with classic looks and I’m carrying a little too much weight.

I talk about what I notice about other people looking like, I’ve felt for a while that a little turnabout was required there. How do I see myself ?

Lazy – which I am. I’m rubbish at doing things for me but I’ll drop everything to help others.
Intelligent – but that’s like a massive supercomputer that can do lots of sums but doesn’t know how to direct its power.
Bigger than I need to be – very true. I’m probably 1st heavier than I need to be but I’m still able to hit that Warp Speed. Well, when my legs will support that.

I’d rather be the shape (a little round!) I am than be one of those super pumped up gym addicts who would crush jars instead of just popping the lid off like the person asked.

A bit broken – isn’t everyone ? I’ve been managing this skin condition for a few years now, plus I have the other issues with back, legs and shoulders. Do I let them get the better of me ? Rather die 😉 Very few people on the team have realised what I’ve been coping with, they just see me coming in day after day grinning at them and occasionally breaking the quiet with huge laughs and That Sneeze.

Very private – school gave me a certain type of armour that’s been very hard to crack. I’m very good at filtering the information that I give out. Too much information leads to vulnerabilities that others can exploit. And you can rarely tell who the bullies are before they expose their tendencies. I write a lot here about me and occasionally about others but … there are certain walls in place.

Other people’s secrets are their own – and that determines the communication channels I use. Talking of that, I’ve just joined Twitter ! Ok, it was to do with getting messages to someone I know is on Twitter. The tally is @dwagonman – Sleepypete was already taken and I like Dwagonman.

What’s brought this one on ?

It’s that second super power … I seem to have the power to make people Run Away Screaming. It’s not everyone, just those who I express an interest in beyond simple friendship. I don’t understand that. Perhaps its that old thing about Girls Prefer Nasty Boys. Maybe I’m too Good. That’s not something I’m planning to change. But if …

You see someone who you think is Perfect;
You send a few messages across, most based on info you’ve seen them put out;
You know they’ve read them and paid a little attention;
You get no reply whatsoever despite knowing they’re active;
And they do stuff like delete profiles on online dating agencies the day after you get in touch.

I don’t get that. It hurts and it’s not the first time I’ve had a response that seems like someone’s running away and doing the screaming thing. It does make you think that the person you thought was Perfect isn’t. That’s definitely been the case with the two major relationships I’ve had so far. I don’t attempt to initiate stuff like that because I’m very picky about who I’d want to let in past that armour but when I do, it’s whole hearted.

And I think that whole heartedness is what scares people away. It’s like a switch that flips very quickly, too quickly, I can make my mind up about a person almost instantly and it’s a switch that can flip on changing circumstances too. It’s like a sixth sense. I’ll fairly quickly know who I can trust. Or who I think I can trust (it’s not a reliable instinct ! see 2 broken long term relationships comment)

I’ll find someone truly perfect eventually. Perhaps I’ve met them already but was too shy to ask (I can think of a couple there). Perhaps they took an all too subtle approach for lack of interest. Perhaps like the PokemonGirl I was too fixated on someone else to pay attention to what was in front of me.

Doh – I promised a not very whiney post and then wrote all that which is up there ^. Oops. I can do some predictions but often the way people react is completely mystery.

What I can tell you is that if someone Special does bop me over the head and drag me off to her GirlCave, you’ll see her mentioned here as MysteryGirl. And as another codename, depending on what I was writing about. Partner = MysteryGirl, what they do = other codename. It’s a bit difficult to do that within the same sentence but I’ve definitely done stuff like that in the same paragraph, talk about the same person without suggesting any connection.

Oh one closing note – I’ve excluded the possibility of a relationship while I get better … well, I may only be weeks away now. Cor ! Yep, there’s still a few bits that are persistently resisting healing but those bits are reducing in number and needing less intervention.

Promising 🙂

PS I also forgive quickly and completely – so if you’re reading this and think you’re the one I talked about – FORGIVEN ! 🙂 Hugs.

Definitely better than the first one and I thought the first one was pretty good.

Definitely thought Capt America was very good – and I don't like Superhero movies which must mean something!

Scottie says “The engines cannae take it Cap’n” !

Well, not yet anyway.

Watched Captain America 2 last night and … I’d highly recommend it. It’s a longer than average film but it keeps the pace going pretty well. And, rarely for a Hollywood movie, it kinda keeps you guessing too. Ok, some plot twists are a bit telegraphed but … the next time I watch it I’ll be looking out for the little bits I missed the first time around. It’s a definite buy on blu-ray. Better than Thor the Dark World for sure.

There’s lots of big toys here too. And some little toys too. I shouldn’t really call Black Widow a toy though, lest she hear and make a toy out of me. She scary.

Actually that’s one thing to look out for on the bluray – better playback of the action scenes. We have 2 Vue cinema near us, one’s easier to get to than the other. Without giving too much location away :

Vue CC – clapped out screens that can’t keep up with the action but easy for me to get to.
Vue LG – Shiny screens but traffic makes it horrific to get there midweek.

Yep. Really enjoyed Captain America 2. It was one of those films that gave me that physical charge that usually manifests in me doing things Really Fast. Like running across the car park to see if I could. Yep. Doing things Really Fast tends to be connected with Doing Things Really Stoopidly.

Yeah – I’m improving to the point where I’m normalising. Perhaps that’s partly due to being in a better state of mind ? Maybe 😉 It’ll be good to have possibilities open that have been closed for … years. It’s definitely manifesting in me wanting to run about like a loon, despite :

Being bigger than I should be;
Getting a bit more broken;
And apparently a bad memory cos I forgot the rest

Anyway – that Pain I wrote about in the last post was from one of those times when you wake up to find your leg in mid cramp. And then you don’t jump fast enough to break the cramp and your calf muscle ends up tearing itself in two. That’s my blessing … and my curse. My legs have always been a bit big :

I could push start a car ! On my own !
But all that power tore up my knees
I can run so fast the wind whistles in my ears !
But if I hit a downslope, I won’t stop for miles – no brakes !
If just one bit of that leg is unhappy – big ouch

But I’ve got away with it this time. Pain started Friday and saw me limping my way around EGXRezzed but I’d mostly walked it off by yesterday morning. Enough at least, for me to test it out yesterday.

I have several speeds :
Quick walk – I can walk forever on the flat like this
Slow jog – my legs are built for speed, not for persistence
Very Fast – more of a running style than anything really useful
WARP SPEED – when I want to go fast, I go FAST.

If I’m at a fit weight (I’m maybe 1st above right now), then I can hit that top speed fairly quickly. Be a good thing if I had brakes. What can I say ? I just like to Run Very Fast. Cricket lets me do that, plus I can usually get my breath back by the time the next bit of Running Very Fast is needed. And … with the exception of a few years, I’m still one of the fastest players in both teams I play for.

So – cricket this summer ? I’m in better condition now than I was last year. There’s still some healing to do, plus I need to get my Inner Me back to something healthy. By Inner Me, I mean the mineral balances that will keep my muscles happy and the other minerals that will keep me healing properly. I’m pretty sure I’ll be physically ready to play cricket this summer. But …

Will there be a team for me to play for ? That’s a bigger doubt than my own fitness … One team got fired and the other team may have disbanded. So my cricket retirement may be outside of my control. Which means :

I’ll need another method to throw myself around like a Mad Thing. Because that’s an essential part of being me. Perhaps gym and treadmills ? Maybe. That’s something I’ve never really needed to do as I’ve obnoxiously abused Natural Fitness. Gym attendance would be easier to maintain if there were someone to keep me interested in it. That’s another of my contrasts :

I’m an Introvert Show off.

I like to show off and I try and impress certain people but I’ll also fade into the background. But it has to be a special person for me to go into showing off mode. Like only 1% of people.

I also digress a lot. I was able to get to Run Very Fast yesterday but before the switch to Warp Speed :
I was running out of car park …
The leg was telling me Don’t Be Silly (it’s ok, maybe 2 more days healing needed)

Maybe this improved mental attitude (definite up from this time last week) is from coming into contact with a certain person ? I’d like to think so. Sometimes the best things come in small packages.

I’m not going to say much more there, except – I hope she’s reading. It was an all too fleeting meeting the first time and I’m even more curious now than before.