Year: 2014

Ok – so what does that title mean ?

I have positives and negatives at the moment.

The big positive is that after my little skirmish with a depressive cycle last week, I seem to have risen out of that. Partly thanks to friends and colleagues giving me that hand to lift me up, partly due to my general condition improving.

And my condition has been generally improving – my outsides are more intact now than they were last week. Hopefully I’ll keep it that way and not cause it to go backwards. I have a target of MCM Comic Con – that’ll be much easier if my outsides are ok but it’ll take that kind of time for repairs to happen.

Some of the damage – repairs within maybe 3 days
Other bits of damage – take … longer

But I am seeing that general sign of improvement which is helping lots. Things like my ankles not being a painful distraction through the day. My neck’s still bad but that’s something I hope will settle down when my general condition normalises.

Negatives ?

Regular readers will have spotted me chasing someone over the last few months. I actually saw the lady at a show about 6 months ago with that brief encounter allowing my instincts to confirm what I already knew from what I’d seen on the web. That this was a little lady with rare passion, intelligence and all the rest of the things that made me Know with that strange certainty that this was someone I wanted to know better. And everything I could see about her suggested she wanted the same. Someone she could get to know better, company.

Yeah – the instincts confirmed everything I already know. I trust those instincts, although they’ve been badly wrong a few times before (they’re a bit rosetinted and sometimes tell me just what I want to see). But … I am usually able to see right past the surface and figure out what a person is really like. And what do I see ?

A person genuinely interested in the world around her. Glittering eyes that are taking everything in with interest.
Someone who has an instinct for finding the Fun.
A beauty of spirit that accompanies external attractiveness.
A characteristic voice backed by intelligence, humour and wit that I’m happy to close the eyes and focus in on.
(I usually have 2 or 3 maybe more sources of input going on at once but when it’s worth it ? I’ll focus in on the special stuff).
Similar interests – going across the games we like and the movies we watch.
Dunno about the music – that’s from a 12 year age gap.
And more too.

Sum everything up and you get someone I feel seems like a perfect soulmate. Similar interests, similar intelligence, a strength of personality we can help each other with when we’re weak and lastly, a love for life.

But … all that chasing and no result. No feedback. No communication. No effort to check out the person who could be just who you’re looking for. (She does peek at the blog posts I link at her but that’s it)

The question you have to ask yourself is – is all that chasing worth it ? When do you decide to give up and look elsewhere ? I think I’m rapidly reaching that point.

While it might look sometimes like I flirt with everything in sight, I’m actually a lot more focused than that. I’ll be very friendly (not touchy) but there’s a certain limit past which I won’t go. I think sometimes that’s why ladies respond to that flirting, because they know I’ll go away at a certain point before things get awkward.

But certain ladies, I’ll be very interested in seeing if they’ll go past that certain limit into territory that will be more … familiar. However, before I go there, I’ll need assurance that the approach is welcome (which has all sorts of checkboxes ….)

Yeah – it’s getting close to the point where I look elsewhere, although there’s still a few more weeks for that Comic Con offer to be accepted. I think, however, that it’ll go ignored. We shall see !

I could be surprised. I hope I’ll be surprised. But I’ll try not to be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen. At the end of the day, we both miss out on each other, which is sad. But … there’s only so many first steps you can take and if the other person never turns around to see who’s calling ?

And I’ll stop there before I come out with one metaphor too many !

But before you think I’m on the verge of another depressive cycle with all this, I’ll take the disappointment philosophically. Which may tell you that I’ve given up on this particular little lady already …

If it doesn’t happen – I’m prepared to move on
If it does happen – remember that cloud I mentioned ? That’ll be me riding on top of it.

Also for Madonna and a couple more too.

I’m running very close to hitting 1000 posts … I may have to think of something special to mark that milestone. I’m oh so welcome to ideas !

But now – while I’m half ignoring Star Trek Original Series reruns (it seems a bit of a letdown compared to today’s scifi), that gives me a perfect opportunity to do the M post … (These posts involve a lot of Youtube surfing, which I don’t like doing when watching other YT vids)

First up is Clannad, who have two albums in the M’s. We see Macalla and Magical Ring. Macalla is mostly pop, Magical Ring is more traditional/atmospheric. They’re both outstanding albums in their own right and it’s tough to find highlights from them. But … I found something with the two best from Macalla, it’s the happy Closer To Your Heart and the more plaintive Almost Seems Too Late To Learn. Spot that 80’s special dancing.

Clannad were always led by the marvellous voice of Maire Brennan. It’s so flexible, able to adapt to the poppy songs as well as the more traditional Irish folky songs like the beautiful Coinleach Ghlas An Fhómhair. And … it’s one I can happily sing along to ! My voice has a strange range. It can’t follow voices like Michael Stipe with Losing My Religion but it is suited to the ranges groups like Clannad and Tori Amos use. Well, I would sing along if I could understand the Gaelic.

Soundtracks ! There’s a few in here but I’ll pull out Tomas Dvorak’s Machinarium as a major highlight. It’s from a point and click game with a massively charming robot. I’d thoroughly recommend it but get the soundtrack as well, it’s an excellent piece of music. Highlight ? Clockwise Operetta.

Dubstar come in next with Make It Better. The song Stay is my highlight here, with its dancy melody and the chorus line “Sarah Makes It Better”. Hearing a voice that pure definitely makes my day better. Yes, there’s a bit of autotuning in there but most of it is that wonderful Sarah voice.

Dire Straits brought out a bunch of albums and I think their most underrated and I think one of their best is Making Movies. There’s a collection of amazing tracks on here, most of which I’ve linked before. Romeo and Juliet has the guitar interplay with keyboard and we see similar on Expresso Love. Nah, this time it’s the turn of Skateaway for the story that it tells.

Another soundtrack – Mars Attacks was a B movie classic when it came out and when we went to see it, I was dissolving into laughter in the opening scenes. They started with one spinning ufo. Then a few more joined in formation. Then another formation and another until the screen was full of these off axis badly spinning wholly cliched saucer ufo’s. I found that hilarious. And all the while, there’s the equally cliched opening title music playing. A truly classic movie that I need to watch again. Soon.

On to games – when I saw Master of Magic and Master of Orion on sale on Good Old Games.com, I couldn’t resist. They were why I came out of uni with a 2:2 Hons MEng instead of 1st Hons MEng. Too much gaming – bad me. Master of Magic took the Civilisation theme but moved it into a fantasy setting with magic. It had different races with their own characteristics and limits. Moo was Civ in space. Both games had decent music with the power to drive you nuts cos of their repetition. It’s good to hear it again.

Game soundtracks like Master of Magic are a real nostalgia kick. They hail from the days of the original Soundblaster cards. These did music using the OPL3 FM synthesizer chip. It was pretty simple and cheap. Although some fancier people with deeper pockets used cards like the Gravis Ultrasound which had a whole up to 1MB of memory on board to help make music …

Enigma are in here with MCMXC A.D. It’s one of the all time classic albums and not just for making Gregorian Chants trendy. My highlight is the lengthy Sadeness. Don’t tell me you don’t join in with the heavy breathing lady ? Enigma caught the imagination by coming out just at the right time with something totally unique.

Madonna is another with a pair of M albums in here, first is MDNA which follows the dancy Confessions on a Dance Floor. It’s not quite as good (Confessions was exceptional) but is saved by tracks like Turn Up The Radio. The other M for Madonna album is Music with tracks like … Music. Yep, I like the title track best on this one.

Time to whip through a few quickies :

Pink Floyd turned the corner into the 70s with Meddle. It was a more electronic form, characterised by the groundbreaking One Of These Days.
Miami Vice was a series I missed (too young – bah) but it always had great music like Glenn Frey’s Smuggler’s Blues (sadly no video because various muppets have DMCA’d it – boo hiss).
I mentioned Tori Amos earlier ? Midwinter Graces was Tori Does Xmas and it was a good album too. Highlight – Our New Year.
Pink Floyd are also here with A Momentary Lapse Of Reason, their first album without Roger Waters definitely setting a different tone. It’s far more bland but is still worth a listen for uplifting songs like Learning To Fly.
Mike Oldfield comes in with his Moonlight Shadow collection, it has excerpts of all his classics.

After Dire Straits, there was the Notting Hillibillies with Mark Knopfler applying his guitar play to a more country style. And it kicks off pretty well with Railroad Worksong.

I occasionally hear songs or hear them mentioned and wonder : “In a 13,000 track library, how come I don’t have this ?” And one such song was mentioned by that ever wonderful lady Miss Kim. Especially for her : Moon River. She mentioned it on one of her videos, which led to me buying a Henry Mancini collection with lots more classics as well as Moon River. Well worth it.

I’m a collector of Air’s works now. Again, a little bit different to the norm and thus, highly interesting for me as a collector. Variation is good. And it all started with Moon Safari, with the sublime tracks All I Need and You Make It Easy. Love them. (Especially as I can sing along!)

Old classic ? Led Zep are in the M’s with their Mothership collection. I have to say, I find a lot of their stuff average. But … But. Stairway to Heaven ! Is there a better rock n roll song ?

Last one ! Honest. Cor, this one has turned out longer than I thought. I picked up an Andrew Lloyd Webber “Musical Masterpieces” collection a while ago. There’s some good stuff here. Lots of tat too. But the tat gets forgiven with tracks like Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.

N’s will wait for a bit – adding the soundtrack to Final Fantasy 7 has put a bit of a gap in the schedule … It’s massive !

Back soon 🙂 In the meantime, all ideas welcome for a 1000th post.

So the last post was a bit of a negative one. I don’t like leaving those as top posts because …

They aren’t a real reflection of how I see myself. But, they sometimes come out when that certain Darkness hits. I think when those episodes hit, you have to talk them out. I don’t have anyone here to talk them through with, so I typically put them here. Just :

If you’re in a similar position, please don’t take it out on anyone else. Especially if it’s an internal problem. Talk it over with someone you trust but don’t make it their fault, you’ll feel really guilty later which will deepen the depression.

I think my darkness on Thursday was a direct result of that self discipline slipping relating in me attacking bits of me that were almost healed. That sets the healing back more than you might think. So having to sit through the consequences of that for a full day at work, knowing it was all my fault, turned Thursday into a bit of a dark day.

I think I’m almost out of that dark phase though. Yeah, I still have pain but Light and Dark is the difference between feeling that pain and being able to ignore it. After two better days, I’m more confident again that I’ll soon be clear of all these problems and able to move forward again.

I’m looking forward to something too. I’m feeling the need to have a break from work again soon and there’s an opportunity coming to have a very long weekend at the end of October. It’ll be MCM Comiccon. Never been to a Comic Con before but I think I’ll enjoy it. I went to EGX Rezzed earlier this year and to be honest, the highlight there was the Yogscast people. I wasn’t really that impressed with the rest of the show. But Comiccon ? There will be a lot more there, outside the world of gaming.

I’m thinking of going on the Friday, when a later start time will hopefully make the travel easier. We’ll see. The show will definitely be quieter, which fits in with my paradox of needing to be around people but being really nervous in crowds.

I have an offer for someone too … Someone who I believe is going to the Comic Con on the Friday as well 😉

I’ll take the car from Bristol and can easily make a side trip on the way to pick someone up. I’d have no problem whatsoever if she fell asleep in the car (hey ! we need our rest and my cruise driving seems to do that to people …). I do have this tendency to sing along to what’s playing on the stereo which may stop that sleep. And then it would be underground to/from the Con. Oh and I’d be buying dinner too.

That’s actually not much outside what I’d do for the show anyway. It would just be awesome to have someone along for the ride. Things like this are miles better in company. Or perhaps not when you consider the factor of “That’s shiny but …” “Go on – buy it” “Ok” with the company over coming the resistance to spendspendspend.

This post was about positivity wasn’t it ?

The inspiration is the ever wonderful Kim who concentrated on that message in her latest Vlog. There’s an old saying :

I’m back to feeding the Good Wolf. And here’s a definite wolf again :

What a lovely old man Scruff became. It’s a shame he didn’t last long after that picture but he was loved from the time he turned up on our doorstep to the time we had to let him go. Who could not love that face and the shaggy hair.

Comic con – if you feel like going too and you’re one of my readers from around the Bristol area, let me know through the email address in the profile.

Before I close, I have to mention a few people again. Cos they’ve helped over the last couple of days.

Kim – for inspiring those thoughts of positivity. And for making me remember one of the aspects of my personality that sometimes submerges. Forgiveness. If you feel people are out to get you, forgive them. That will take the sting out of their hate and you know what ? If you forgive people who think you should hate them, it really freaks them out …

Snow Queen ! For listening when I was talking at her and for continuing to be a wonderful person despite all the trouble she’s been coping with.

CK and CQ for being around and being great friends.

Thelma (of the Thelma and Louise pair) – who spotted how much weight I’d lost. Sayings like that give a huge lift.

All the people at work who willingly subject themselves to my grin. And the ones at work who pass my name around as “Pete will know – that’s really obscure knowledge, go to Pete”. You don’t know how valued being the go to guy for knowledge makes me feel.

And Miss Barbara again – because when it comes out, she has that wonderful little smile.

But the one I’ll have in my mind tonight is someone else. Because I have that voice in my head, the face in my mind, the wonderful huge eyes that take everything in, including drinking up my soul. Oh and that massive personality coupled with the mucky laugh.

And I’ll close there. But if the Comic Con person actually takes up the offer ? I’ll be on a happy little cloud of my own from now until then.

PS Thoughts will also be with another person I’ve been following on Twitter. She went into hospital earlier this week in lots of pain and has been diagnosed with something very serious. Thoughts are with her, I really hope she comes through ok. She’s Good People.

Oh, one more thing I've discovered:

There's no such thing as 'The One' – just a series of one's…..

Haha – I shall try not to throw anything at the screen the next time I hear someone say "But I'm so lonely!"

And with the Okcupid people, I don't tend to contact them again after they ignore the first one. If they go for the rude ignore approach, then they're not The One …

Some things I've learnt in my time here:

Depending on external means of, or validation of, self esteem is never a good idea and leads to madness. First love yourself. After that everything else is garnish.

If a woman/girl ignores you it's probably a signal that they're not interested. Yes, it can be rude but it's often the quickest and easiest solution from their point of view. I normally give 'persons of interest' two chances. After that I leave them to their own devices….

Not all ladies are lovely. Not all girls/women are ladies – lovely or otherwise. There are some really nice people out there but they are few and far between.

I have to admit, today wasn’t one of my best days.

I do flip between a Happy State and a Sad State. Often, it’s beyond my control when I flip into the Sad State, so I ride the wave of the Happy State as much as possible. A big trigger of Sad Pete is when I think I’m being ignored or otherwise being deprived of the human contact that I crave.

(That was only part of the story today – a big part was the self discipline slipping and me doing some more damage – oops !)

That combined with definitely lacking on the energy today made things somewhat miserable. Being in the Sad State has other effects too. I’m sure other people who suffer from depression will recognise the feeling that the world just doesn’t care about you. Having a lack of feedback when you try to talk to or send messages to people reinforces that feeling of being unloved.

You’ve seen me mention Okcupid here a few times haven’t you ? I have no issues whatsoever with the site. It’s fast to navigate on both mobile and desktop versions. It presents matches clearly. It has a well realised editor. It’s a great site and the Match % couples fairly well with what I read in people’s profiles.

But … And this is the big but. A site like that depends on the people on it for successfully fulfilling its purpose of making singles into partners.

What’s the result so far ? I’ve been messaging occasional people on there as their words and pictures catch my eye. I usually put a compliment in there and / or questions based on what I’ve read in their profile.

So – how many answers, how many ignore ?

I’ll go back to 1st August when I was feeling a lot better and thinking recovery was just around the corner. I’ve sent initiating messages to 16 lovely ladies. Of them, I’ve had :

2 sorry not interested or talking to someone else. I’m ok with that. They showed a little interest and had the courtesy to reply. I wish those two ladies well.

That’s what I’m all about. If a lady goes off with another bloke, I’m fine with that. What’s important is that they’re happy. If that happens to be with someone else instead of me, that’s ok. It doesn’t do much for my need for Hug but their happiness is what counts.

Back to numbers – 2 had short conversations, of which 1 was fairly promising. Until I translated my description of “shredded”. Not heard from her again, despite : My condition will fix in time. Her condition will not (she has a degenerative skeletal disease).

1 lengthy conversation with a lovely interpreter lady. That conversation had me grinning madly, especially when she diagnosed me as having the Crazy. I like the Crazy (happy crazy, not lock me up crazy) because it means unpredictable spontaneity and hopefully fun. I hope I hear from her more. She was interesting and I don’t use that word with many people.

That leaves 11 ladies who did not bother replying – at all. Even to the questions I asked them based on what’s in their profiles. I’d call that rude but it goes beyond that into being obnoxious.

I see that lack of response way too much actually. There’s another lady I talk about here a little too much perhaps who hasn’t given me anything by way of response. I know she checks the posts because Google privately gives me the fingerprint trace that shows the link they click to get here. But I get no response back. That shows either :

Lack of interest – just let me know that. There’s a 12 year age difference which I think unnerves her.
Shy inhibitions – there’s only one way to fight that, go outside the comfort zone.

Yeah – I’m a bit upset at the world at the moment, feeling unloved.

But … this is my message to all the people reading this who are touched by depression. Remember the positives. For me, it’s keeping a few faces in my mind :

The lady down south who is new to the organisation. I’ve been helping her figure out how everything fits together and she’s been helping me from her own specialisation too.

(People say I’m an outrageous flirt. That’s true. I don’t deny it. But … If the flirting and being nice to people means they answer my questions quicker, I’ll keep doing it. Besides, it costs nothing to be nice and makes everyone feel better.)

I caught the Snow Queen around lunchtime on Tuesday. And had the benefit of that little smile she carries around. Our Snow Queen is amazing, even at my most confusing, she can follow what I’m thinking. That’s tough and shows how smart and understanding she is.

All those hugs from CrazieQueen. She suffers more than I do and those hugs help us both out.

Having an email out of the blue from the Naughty (but so Nice) Angel. And then completely coincidentally spotting her waiting for a lunchtime meet up. It was great to talk again.

Having all those people at work who answer my smile with their own and often a Hello. That definitely helps being my smile back.

But lastly, Miss Barbara. Her name’s not Barbara but she is almost the image of a childhood sweetheart of that name (and I’m struggling for codename inspiration). She’ll walk past my desk and try not to be distracted by the grinning idiot looking up at her. But if she catches the grin, her face will first twitch and then erupt into an ear to ear smile.

And it’s those smiles that make life worth living. And it’s smiles like that which help point the way to finding my Happy Pete mojo again.

Yep

Improving. But slowly. There’s still a fair bit of damage on me but instead of staying nasty, it shows healing fairly quickly. Of course, I’m still being my own worst enemy with it because I can re-damage the healed bits very easily, with that tending to happen before my self-discipline wakes up.

Still struggling though. I have my hyperactivity being balanced by a lack of sleep again. I like to finish on high notes, so let’s get the bed out of the way first. You know, like when I do that cataloguing of the problems so I can deal with them better.

Energy levels. This is the hyperactivity being balanced by the lack of sleep. I usually have enough to see me through the day at work and then go Zombie when I’m home. I can carry the energy levels when I need them but I pay for it later.

Outside struggles. The skin’s genuinely getting better. But I still have to be incredibly careful with it and there’s no way I’m wearing shorts yet. I’d be shot by Zombie Hunters.

Inside struggles. The lowlights are a nasty neck which is really cramping the Meerkat style. You know, the one where the person sitting at the desk pops up their head to see who is walking by. It’s costing me smiles ! I need to go on an exercise regime too, to reactivate legs that have lost the power I’m accustomed to having.

Ok, ok – that’s enough for struggles. Positives ?

I’m getting huge amounts of Smiles. I wrote something somewhere which said “Dwagonman, Powered By Smiles”. I love giving and receiving smiles. Even She Who Curdles The Milk has caught the grin and even said hello the other day. I nearly fell off me chair. (She’s not that bad)

Even people I don’t know get caught by the Grin. Including Pretty Lady Waitress tonight. Energy levels were really low and were helped out by another pasta dinner (I’m getting addicted to F+B’s Chicken Romana) and those Pretty Lady Waitress smiles. She was on her third straight shift and still managing to maintain that smile plus energy levels that let her zoom around.

Losing the weight.

I love this. I hit 14st, which is what I call my upper limit. It’s not an obese weight for me because I carry that on a relatively broad frame with a lot of the weight taken up in power legs. I’m now 12st4(ish) and appreciating losing that weight. With improvements in my outside condition, I have most of my old agility back. All thanks to losing that weight.

How did the weight fall off ? I haven’t been exercising, although I need to start again when my outsides are clear. It’s from a change in diet, to a more carb rich pasta type diet. There’s a 3 for deal in A Supermarket which led to about half my meals being these pasta ready meals (must learn to cook them myself). That’s set calories plus healthier components.

I still sadly have a double chin. Don’t think I’ll get rid of that any time soon. Oh and when I get banned from the car park (for living too close to work), the walking to and from the bus will soon sort out those legs. I won’t be playing cricket next summer though, I’m too broken and the fun had gone out of it.

Talking of fun …

A good belly laugh always helps heal the soul. And the less said about The Equaliser (watched last night with Crazies) there, the better – well made but very nasty film. I’m looking forward to a few films coming soon. The birthday movie will be Interstellar, I’m a sucker for a good scifi movie. Other forthcoming films I’m looking forward to include :

Turtles ! Must see, even though it is a Michael Bay
Annabelle – and if a certain little lady needs someone to hug in the scary bits, I’d be overjoyed to oblige. This one made me jump in the trailer. That never happens !
Fury – is a WW2 film about a tank crew
Hunger Games : Mockingjay – should be good if it’s up to the standard of the first 2.
Imitation Game – another which a certain little lady might like (it has the Benedict) but I’ll watch it for the WW2 codebreaking story
And Hobbit 3

I hope that pretty little lady does read this, there’s a few things that get said that just make me want to offer the hug and a someone to talk to who is away from her normal world. You know, a safety valve where you can let your guard down and … relax and regenerate. We both seem to be locked into a form of mutual loneliness. Mine is due to that skin condition, it’s been an enforced thing because I haven’t wanted to inflict it on anyone. But I’m hoping to be clear “soon.” by the end of this year at least which will be about darn time.

I mentioned a good belly laugh didn’t I ?

While I don’t really have the energy to put into playing the games in the evening, that doesn’t stop me watching the gameplay videos from people like Yogscast. There’s two I’d particularly like to mention. And you’ve seen me mention them before – it’s Hannah and the ever adorable Kim.

Hannah is the wild child of the group. Her commentary is nuts. And huge fun. It’s totally unfiltered and shows how much she enjoys the game. Or how much she’s affected by it. There’s a scene in Mass Effect 3 where Mordin Solus, Salarian Scientist goes off to a heroic end. You know he ain’t getting out alive. And it nearly brings the tears out (in me too!) because you know it has to be done. Well, you can hear the tears in Hannah’s voice as you see it play out. And you hear the evil chuckles as she’s being sneaky in something like Assassins Creed (must play that soon).

Kim is the maverick. Unpredictable with a dirty laugh that’s always bubbling away, waiting to erupt. And this as a little person with a massive personality. 100% adorable, 100% of the time.

And it’s that mucky laugh and the antics in the videos that tends to send me off to bed with a big smile.

Laughter is truly the best medicine. And I’ll finish off on this note : Keep smiling. Keep that positive vibe going. Grin, laugh, concentrate on the good. A good laugh will shake off all manner of tired thoughts.

Guess who’s about to chuckle along to my 2 favourite youtube people ?

I see lots of funny pictures coming my way over the net.

It’s been a while since I posted any ! So here goes. First up. I’m a dragon fan. I like dragons. They have power. Or they are hypercute. My current twitter avatar is :

My twitter avatar is the one that tends to change at will these days, although I’ve been diving back into the Facebook archives to get pictures for it.

Dragons aren’t real though (Honest!). Unless :

Yes. I have a dragon in the kitchen. He is guarding the front door from atop the fridge-freezer.

Guess who wants a new camera 😉

We were talking movies the other day weren’t we ?

Must watch 2001 again. Must acquire 2010. 2001 was a masterpiece of cinematography with special effects that were miles ahead of their time. But … it was boring ! 2010 had more excitement, although a lot was sliced out of the book. Talking of books :

I have a very good friend called Cyberkitten who absolutely devours books. Reads them too occasionally

Oh – did I mention cameras earlier ?

Definitely. Although :

There seems to be a gap in movies at the moment. Perhaps they’re all struggling to measure up to :

Love that film. And its music. But especially Groot. I suspect Groot models will be a favourite gift this Xmas.

I get identified as a pooter geek fairly often and it happened again today. But. Please :

Last one :

I think I’ve scared some of the Okcupid people away by being too honest. But – I believe that honesty is the best policy. I am suffering from a long term health condition, although it relented enough today to let me leg it around the Mall. I’m a little bit broken but no way near being an invalid. I won’t pretend to be a paragon of health, cos I’m not and never was. But …

I’ll continue to face the world with a massive grin, I’ll continue to fight the problems. Some people don’t seem to like that ! I see it more as owning the problem instead of being owned by it. However, sometimes it does feel a bit like :

Cya ! I think that’s enough piccys for today. Maybe …

Minions are awesome.

I say a lot about the music I love to listen to here. But I’m also a dedicated follower of … (not fashion, definitely not fashion) movies.

So what are my favourites ? I’ll keep it down cos you know what I’m like with that Wall Of Text tendency. But before I start, the catalyst for this one is that darling little lady Kim who has put a couple of “… is the most perfect movie ever. THERE IS NO DISCUSSION!” on her twitter. And I’d agree with the picks too. Cos I like them too.

I’ll put them first. But before, check out her channel to get an idea of why I’m so fascinated. There’s a definite sense of FUN, FUN, FUN, mischief that comes over during the gameplay that’s matched with an enchanting mix of crazy and professional. She can do both when she wants/needs to. I’d recommend the Vlog playlist and most definitely the Last Of Us playthrough which won my heart.

To the movies !

First up and last night’s perfect movie – Terminator 2. I’d go further and name the whole series. It’s rare that a series maintains its quality over even 2 films, let alone 4. Hopefully there will be more. They got the best they could out of the technology available at the time and matched that to decent stories too. I think when I clear the unwatched blurays, I’ll queue up the Terminator movies again.

Anyway – Terminator. Well realised stories, great acting, fantastic effects. Some of the best scifi ever made ?

Tonight’s perfect movie – The Fifth Element. This takes the viewer on a helter skelter trip through Luc Besson’s vision of the future, 400 years away. It’s a colourful riot that draws you in, keeps you guessing and most definitely has you entertained. And it has that opera singer dance …. The music lover in me definitely approves.

For my third, I’ll pick Moon. Scifi again. This tells the story of an astronaut on the moon who is there to keep the Helium mining operation going. But then accidents happen … I especially like his caregiver monitor robot which expresses pseudofeeling through smileys.

Number 4 has to be Episode 4. I was hesitant about putting a Star Wars or a Star Trek in but you can’t deny this movie its place here. Scifi again, set in a unique and fresh world. It changed scifi forever and for the better too. I wanted to be an XWing pilot, although I missed that game and went fighting rebels in Tie Fighters instead.

Number 5 is alive ! (Nah – I’m not picking Short Circuit, lots of 80s movies like that had charm but were … real bad). Time for a disaster movie. I dunno why but I keep going back to The Day After Tomorrow. It has nothing really that makes it better than movies like 2012 but … I kinda like it. It ends with a feely good type message. It has a disaster set up that I think may actually be plausible. And we even saw a little bit of it with last year’s polar vortex … Scary huh ?

Back to animation – Pixar have come out with some amazing movies but I’ll actually go to Bolt. It’s a movie about a SuperDog who isn’t. He just thinks he is but is just having the effects added in around him. But the important thing is that he believes. Until he gets lost that is … This is a truly magic movie and the burning building scene is another that gets the emotions going.

More animation – and I can’t believe I’ve not watched this one since originally seeing it. Spirited Away will be a legendary movie for a long time. It’s about a little girl who gets lost in an alternate, magical world. Her parents have been turned into pigpeople and she needs to figure out how to get them back. Cue a trip through this alternate world as the little girl struggles to first come to terms with the alternate reality and then fights to come out on top with mom and dad. Amazing movie.

8 are the two Sherlock movies with Robert Downey Junior. They’re pure anarchy. And pretty brilliantly acted too. I’ll keep going back to these for sure.

And talking Robert Downey Jr, I can’t leave out Iron Man. Not so sure about the follow up movies (although Avengers was incredible) but the first was an excellent origins series. And that music showed off the sheer joy of his ability to create from technology.

Number 10 ? I’ll pick another unusual one. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon wasn’t the best (I think House of Flying Daggers) foreign language eastern themed film to come out but it was the first and allowed the rest of these fantastic movies to come through. This had ninjas having incredible fights while jumping, flying over buildings. It had several love stories running throughout. It had epic struggle. Outstanding stuff.

I’ll end with a Number 11. And this is for the last Doctor Who. There’s few times when I get emotionally choked up when watching stuff (Bolt is one) but Matt Smith drew that out of me a few times in his times as Doctor. So while they weren’t cinema films, more TV movie, I’ll add in his last two appearances The Day Of The Doctor and The Time Of The Doctor. Cos they hit me in the heart.

I’ll leave it there but if you have some I’ve missed (so many movies, so few evenings !), please drop a comment.

And check out the wonderful Kim too.