Sleepypete's Pillow

Had something very weird happening at work on Friday – I had the feeling people were staring at my chest.

Not used to that, although I guess my female readers will know what I mean. I can be a little guilty of that myself, although I try hard not to stare. Actually, I may get more defensive than average when confronted with someone attempting the distraction technique in trying to persuade me into doing something.

A little bit of distraction can be a very wonderful thing (some of the perfumes that walk past are highly distracting) but if it’s at work with someone attempting to persuade me to go in a particular direction, then I’ll look more closely into their reasons for asking.

So by attempting to exploit the male stereotype, they’re actually making me a bit tougher to persuade.

That’s at work though. Outside of work, I’m a sucker for a pretty face 🙂

Anyway – what was causing the staring ? Here we go :

Yes – that’s kinda artistically arranged for hiding of faces but it’s about the best I could do with arranging my phone for a mirror shot.

It’s a cricket top and it was perfect for Friday at work. We don’t have an official dress code where I work but having a smart appearance is Expected. Most people wear what they like, although that depends heavily on them. Professional Sleepypete wears shirt + tie. Other people wear the same stuff they’d wear at a football match. There’s also the ones who look as if they’re ready for an afternoon at the pub (some are) and others who look set to dance the night away at a club.

We have all sorts. I go for the professional look or smart casual on a Friday as that’s what I expect me to be wearing. If I was heading out the office for a customer or supplier facing meeting, I’d stick to the professional look. Credibility comes from your impressions on people and a lot of those depend on outfit. For my work, the professional outfit is the suit + tie. But that would be wholly inappropriate for a garage or hands-on engineering work.

So yeah – outfit counts for a lot. It says who you are and your general attitude even before you open your mouth. And even your general competence (like the garage suit who hasn’t worked on an engine in years, they ain’t gonna be working on my car). But too smart = more interested in looks than getting stuff done.

I’m getting distracted again aren’t I ?

Cricket top got a huge amount of attention on Friday. It was perfect because I could wear it all day and therefore keep my back warm. Didn’t expect it to get more looks or comments than my various subversive message “Don’t follow me, I make it up as I go” t-shirts get :-). Could be that people instantly understand what it is and therefore have something to comment on.

To be honest, this top isn’t likely to see a cricket field. I have another sleeveless top which is 20 years old so it has some of the stitching coming loose. I’ll use that one if it gets so cold I need it. I generate so much heat though when I’m running around that I can’t wear jumpers on the field.

PS It probably looks like my place is in severe need of redocorating. Yeah, I’d agree with that.

Apologies if I go off on a rant again 🙂 Need better ideas so I can talk about good stuff and not stuff that’ll make me rant.

Gis ideas ! If there’s anything my regulars would like me to say what I think about – lemme know 🙂 There’s an email address in my profile. And I’m kinda running out of inspiration for these walls of text … Enough of that – on with the post.

Been looking at Tomshardware again (I know, they make me rant) and they’ve got an article on about the history of computer role playing games. It’s a spectacularly crappy one as, over 16 slides, it shows 14 games from last century and only 2 from this one. There’s lots that came out over the gap … Instead of pure “they’re rubbish” rant though, what computer role playing games (CRPGs from here) do I think show how they’ve evolved ?

In the early days there was text. Pure text. Nothing but text. The early days of true CRPGs and true massively multiplayer games was founded by MUDs (Multi User Dungeons). These were games based on Unix mainframes where the only access was via the terminal emulator. I know. Archaic right ? But very playable. Such that later games with shinier clothing harked back to the easy gameplay of the MUD.

MUDs probably took at least a few % points off my degree score as I tried to level my character up in labtime.

Text based dominated a lot of early pooter gaming. It’s all the machines could really handle. The game would put text up on screen and your imagination would paint the scene in your head. But you can’t really call those early text games or point&clicks RPGs because they didn’t tend to have statistics associated with them.

I missed a lot of the early proper RPGs, mainly because I couldn’t afford them or the hardware to run them on. Or I wasn’t interested in that genre. I did run through Alone In The Dark a few times though and became the one people in the house turned to when they wanted to swordfight past the pirate.

But it’s partly because – a lot of the games in the TH article, I wouldn’t have considered worth playing as they are too crude. Until Baldur’s Gate came along, CRPGs were rather Meh with very frustrating interfaces.

Baldur’s Gate – it’s an isometic adventure game centred around the Protagonist (you) and the companions you gather. I ♥ Imoen (yes – even crazy Imoen from BG2). This seriously broke the mould by translating what before had been crude text, into pictures on the screen.

Very shiny. So shiny that the same basic game engine got turned into a heap of other classics including Icewind Dale, Planescape Torment to name just two.

The next big step came with turning that 2d isometric into full 3d with Neverwinter Nights. I didn’t actually finish BG or BG2 but played NWN to death. And then I downloaded player created adventures and played those.

NWN was so flexible that people turned it into 3d graphics versions of those MUDs. Nice idea but a little limited in scope due to the Dungeons and Dragons level limits.

By the time NWN was getting old, Massively Multiplayer Online games were starting to come in. Games like Everquest that laid the ground for World of Warcraft. The amount of time I sunk into WoW is silly. It’s probably the apex of fantasy CRPG. At least until GuildWars 2 comes along. (Yes, I’ll preorder that and hopefully get more value out of it than SWTOR).

Roughly at the same time, you’ve also got the Fallout series. I like the setting of Fallout but sadly never really got into the games. Dunno why. And that counts for the different genre that Fallout 3 went for too. Perhaps it’s because I liked to sit back and watch things happen on the screen rather than have my skill determine success. RPGs are supposed to be about how the character, not the player.

RPG with character attributes – success should depend on the character build
Fallout & Elder Scrolls – success depends on the player fighting the interface

Skyrim is the first Elder Scrolls game where I’ve not felt like I’m fighting the interface. I’ve actually had more fun from that one, compared to the frustration of trying their earlier games. WoW goes the other way, success is totally statistics based with the only player skill being able to mash the button fast enough.

And there’s a heap of other classics or “could have been’s” that I’d love to talk about (but I’m hitting Wall Of Text limit already) :

Awesome – KOTOR, Mass Effect series (although ME is more FPS than RPG)
Could have been – Vampire Bloodlines
So so or tedious – Dungeon Siege, Divine Divinity

Talking of Knights of The Old Republic, it’s the anniversary today of one of my favourite films and something I grew up to :

May the Fourth Be With You. And while you watch this video (Youtube link), ask yourself like I am : why didn’t I know that one of those was coming out ? I Want.

PS The Youtube link is to the Yogscast, who are a couple of videoing gamers who don’t take themselves or games seriously. When they get going, it’s hilarious. If only they didn’t spend so much time on another CRPG – Minecraft.

One thing I spotted while peeking around the various news sites was that UK ISPs are starting to ban The Pirate Bay.

I’m anti-piracy. I’m with the “it’s theft and shouldn’t be tolerated” crowd. But not because it’s against the law. I don’t actually care too much about the law abiding aspect. No – I care about the damage that the pirates cause.

But wait – what is The Pirate Bay ? It’s a place you can (perhaps!) go to in order to find out where to steal media content available online. That can be music, games or video. And there’s probably more stuff on there too. It’s like having a “How To Rob HMV” or “How To Shoplift” manual available on the web.

Did the looters in London get widespread condemnation ? Yes.
Do online pirates get the same treatment ? No – and a lot of people join in.

There’s no difference, except that online pirates don’t go out to do it, they do it from the anonymity of their internet connection.

The damage ? If I like something, I’m always hopeful there’s more from the same place coming soon. If content is stolen, then that’s cash that isn’t going to the developer, author or artist. I’d like there to have been more Alisha’s Attic albums. But they got miffed and left the business. Good software houses close because rampant piracy means they can’t afford to develop sequels to classics. We got ever more draconian and brutal copy protection measures built in (I boycott Ubisoft because of that).

By stealing stuff, you’re taking cookies from the hands of coders. (Cookies are an essential part of the diet of software people – honest). You’re preventing the next generation of classic media from being created.

That’s enough of me getting on my high and mighty pedestal though.

I have been known to send a music file or two over MSN. I’ll send “you might like this” type selections over to my sister and they’ll come back my way too. That’s technically stealing too but in my defence, a lot of those files have gone towards me or my sister picking up albums we’d never have looked twice at. I don’t see a difference there to posting Youtube links.

We’ve discovered artists like Aimee Mann, Hannah Peel, Goldfrapp (5 albums and counting), Bat For Lashes, Kasabian that way, to mention but a few. If we like it, we’ll go out and buy the albums. And then more albums come out later. But what we won’t do is open up the Torrent tracker and download them.

That’s just the way I feel about it.

Stealing is bad – all sites like PirateBay do is encourage it. Although what some of the online sellers do (charging extra for digital distribution ? Withholding content that’s on the disc ?) approaches theft.

Yep. Really. There’s one sitting in the fridge right now silently taunting me with its presence.

Not to mention all the Mini Eggs in there too. I’d say I have a year’s supply but that’s because I know I’ll keep them back for when I really need them* and I’ll resort to other stuff before then.

*(Mini Eggs have a magical combination of chocolate, additives, colourings and other Stuff that’s almost guaranteed to kick me out of a low and activate the hyperactivity. Not something to be abused, so I keep ’em for when I need the kick)

It’s very weird struggling to feel hunger … My hunger sense or “my belly is empty/full” sense seems to have gone walkabout since the latest whack on the head. The only signs I’m getting are when the earthquake rumbles strike or the “I need something to stay busy with” acid reflux strikes.

But – there’s a way around every problem and mine is sensible : Don’t snack and therefore overeat (I’m not sensing “full” properly either) and eat according to timing patterns. I.e. Teacake for breakfast, normal lunch, pay attention to “cookies are evil” note in afternoon calendar, normal dinner. That’s like – just keeping to what I’d be doing anyway. Easy !

Hunger aside, I still don’t trust my brain yet after getting the whack. That’s another weird thing, not knowing from the inside if you’re a little bit different to how you were before. However. I do know that I’ve been seriously lucky twice now (3 times if you count the incident with the beautiful woman bowling me over) with bumps to the head. The most damage I’ve had is a broken nose, a touch of amnesia and people thinking I have a coldsore.

And that’s something to remember.

When you’ve been hurt, look at it from the outside. Think : “how bad is this really ?” Often, it won’t be nearly as bad as it seems. And if it is, there’s always friends around to help you through. Everything feels better after a hug. For the latest whack, sure – lots of blood. But after that was dealt with, I was able to rejoin the practicing. No need to run off to hospital immediately.

Friends count. They kept me in WoW for far longer than that game deserved (it was broken by devs removing the challenge). Although that friendship struggled to continue under the pressures of raiding. The abiding memories I’ll keep from WoW are :
Making our Overqueen dissolve into giggles while trying to raid lead due to a whisper of “weird positions on the kitchen floor” in response to something I can’t remember,
Getting our new shaman and 30 minutes in whispering to the Overqueen : “I like this one, can we keep her ?” (that’s you Sandra !)
Singing along on Mumble
And trying to follow what the delightfully insane VR girls were up to

I guess that’s what I wanted to do with this post. Yesterday’s was very whiny. And I really dislike resorting to whinyness. I felt obliged to knock it off the top 🙂

No where did I leave those mean, taunting Easter Eggs ?

PS I found surprise shards of Easter Egg in the fridge. So I not only have been able to indulge the Easter Egg
craving, I have another one intact still 🙂
PS2 Today also sees an anniversary, which is another reason I want to look on the bright side of things and remember Good Things. The sad thing there is that this is from something more than half my life ago. Still miss him. Happy Birthday wherever you are now !

One of the things I watch regularly is a series called Dexter. It’s one of the better series on at the moment (although the Rita character was getting seriously tired) about a serial killer who works for the police as a forensics blood spatter expert.

If you’ve not seen any Dexter, it’s recommended. We’re into the 6th series now on FX over here and it’s still going strong.

Anyway – one of the scenarios Dexter is in at the start of series 6 sees him hunting a mark at a school reunion. He’s frustrated by all the attention he’s getting … Instead of being anonymous, everyone wants to talk to him making it tougher to investigate his target.

He’s getting the attention because he’s :
Single
Independent
Professional
Intelligent
Physically fit
And apparently without vices …

I share a lot of that, although I could do better with a couple of them. I’ve been living on my own (with a couple of medium term relationships) since leaving school and I think I’m doing ok with looking after myself. Although perhaps the vacuum cleaner and the ironing board should be seeing more use.

I have the professional living pattern, which keeps me in my home and with enough means to buy what I want (I’m not too extravagant which helps with that). I have my own unique intelligence which I hope shows in these posts. Although I describe myself as “a little extra”, I’m now at a strong weight. The only place I have excess baggage is around my middle. That’s part of my standards thing. I expect very high standards from myself (not necessarily from others) so having that baggage is a Not Like.

I have sufficient natural fitness that after long periods away, I can get straight back into cricket and within a couple of games it won’t look as if I’ve been idle. I can be somewhat frail and break things easy … but people rarely realise until I show off the bruises. I daresay I could still provide the muscle to push start cars on my own like I could while at uni.

The only vice I have is being an Information Junkie. (Games used to be but that addiction has faded into “something to do”). And that just means I’m interested in the world around me.

So you would have thought with all that, I’d be a magnet for people looking to bop me on the head to drag me off to their lair ? Nah. I must be avoiding the places where all the cavegirls like that go. Or I’m just not getting the chance to meet them.

I suspect part of it is whether I show interest or not. And that tends to be limited only to those people I’m actually interested in. I’ve never caught the Bristolian habit of saying “my love” to every half stranger out there, I keep terms of endearment for those people where I really mean it. “Love” is a very special thing and should be treated that way. Keep the term in reserve for when you really mean it and the recipient will know you think they’re special.

Dunno if that makes sense or not.

Where I do get frustrated is when I get blocked, shut out or just plain ignored. I find that very hard to deal with. I think it’s quite rude. I suspect one reason I jumped into my two Bad Idea long term relationships is because the other person showed interest in me. I’d have been so surprised I would have ignored the “Are you mad ?” voice in my head. (For the first it was “she’s mad and a user”, for the second it was “you’re only interested cos she’s broken”).

But yeah – every time where I’ve made that first step of seeing if someone’s interested in Me, I’ve ended up being shut out. Ok, some of those times I’ve had no business asking and realised that not long after. That doesn’t stop the rejection through being blanked any less tough to take though.

Perhaps I need to go to some of those reunion thingys.

PS There’s one slight problem with the school reunion scenario for me … I went to an all boys grammar school. I’m not interested in boys ! I am curious though as to where the girls (actually 2nd/3rd year students when I was in my first) who used to watch us play cricket are now though. Strange that I can remember the names of two of them but not the third.

Few little bits of randomness …

When I started thinking about Pink Hat Project a few months ago, I never thought :

I’d be wicket keeping and therefore wearing a helmet all the time instead of a pink cap … I’ll wear the cap while staying back but the latest bump on the head convinced me that Helmets are not optional when standing up to the stumps. There’s just not enough time to get out of the way when the unexpected happens.

That I’d be wicket keeping – I’ve done everything on a cricket field, bowl quick, bowl spin, bat, get key runouts and catches, umpire, I’ve captained the side a few times and on even rarer occasions I’ve been seen keeping wicket. Yet this season, for one of the teams wicket keeping may well be my number 1 job in the side. Fingers crossed (metaphorically because crossing fingers while catching a cricket ball means broken fingers) that I do an acceptable job at it.

And that’s “acceptable” by my standards, which demand zero error.

That climate change would see the end of April seen out with torrential rain, flood warnings and the heating coming back on. I’m sitting here with 2 jumpers on ! Still, I managed to do a pizza run yesterday when it was dry and got a big smile off a pretty lady when I helped with opening the door. Yep, I’m still a sucker for that, although in my defense – I was doing nothing but idly waiting, her hands were full with pizza boxes and she looked so thin that she’d bounce off the door instead of being able to open it.

First game of the season is supposed to be Wednesday between my old side (that I’ll still play for, clashes permitting) and my new side. I’ve got serious doubts that it’ll happen because of the rain. With the amount we’ve had and the grounds we play on, I think if the game were tomorrow it would be called off now.

Pants.

Nope – not the weather, actual pants. When playing cricket, there’s a vital piece of protective gear that’s supposed to protect something other than your knees. Yep, I’ll be wearing a tighter pair of pants in the first game.

Hairy – with this cut lip, I’m likely to be growing a moustache for the next week or so. Or for as long as it takes to heal. The cut is too close to where you take the razor, which means trying a slightly different look for a while.

Head stuff – I think my head is clear again now but I’m still not getting the right messages come through for hungry/full. I recognise the rumbles but I’ve not been actually feeling hungry. Weird. Have to keep an eye on that. It should help the diet but I need to make sure I have enough energy on board to do what I need to do. Evening cricket is a bit funny for that as games start at 6pm, so dinner is Very Late. Big lunch + 3pm snack usually does the job.

Gaming – not sure how much time I’ll have for this but I need another one now that I’ve finished my latest Deus Ex HR run. Skyrim is there for the background but it’s MASSIVE. Guild Wars 2 is coming very soon and there’s a chatterybox on Steamchat who wants me to get that.

Thinking of chattering – that’s supposed to be one of my jobs as wicket keeper. Shouldn’t have a problem there as I’m usually keeping the noise level up while in the field. It’s important as if the chat level goes down, people go to sleep, fielding goes flat and runs get given away. Plus I’ll be in the action all the time now instead of being exiled to near the boundary.

And other people – still thinking a lot of other people at the moment. At the moment that’s mainly the little lady who’s putting an incredibly brave face on at the moment for various issues going on. There’s also the lady who’s recently seen a major bereavement. And finally the singer who is about the only person who’d stand a chance of persuading me to come back into Warcraft, she’s had a painful overnight hospital stay for what is hopefully just a false alarm.

Hope this rain clears up soon – sun brings a smile to everyone !

Wonder if I’ll manage to avoid getting put in one of these this summer ?

Wait – you’re thinking I should be in one for Wednesday’s antics ?

🙂

Doesn’t count – it’s pre season practice. Plenty of time to break more stuff in the season and knowing me, I’ll definitely break something. And then hide it so no-one knows 🙂 That’s part bluff though. Show someone weakness on a cricket field and they’ll take advantage of it. A lot of the initial frenzy I’d show in the field was aimed at conning the batsmen into thinking I’m better than I am, so they take a split second extra to decide whether they want to run or not.

One weird thing about this head bump is that I’ve not felt hungry since. I’ve been eating and hearing/feeling the rumbles but that’s not the same as feeling hungry. Strange. Curious to know if that’ll continue, could be real handy for losing weight :-).

Feeling better today. Yesterday started with at least 12 hours sleep followed by me not really noticing what was going on in the afternoon. I haven’t felt post-practice stiffness as expected. My back is almost pain free. That’s weird because it always used to take time to get my muscles used to running around again. I’ll feel stiff after the first game of the season plus I’ll struggle in the games (bad left leg is ok when first used but stiffens very quickly) but getting conditioning back that quick is promising for playing several games in a week.

Perhaps it’s a benefit of losing the weight. Must lose more then 🙂 (13st0 this morning!)

One more picture :

If she’s asking ? (Jadzia Dax from Star Trek Deep Space Nine) Then hell yeah. But only because she had huge amounts of fun and I’d love to know just how far those spots go.

Already started 🙂

You too Sandra – take care 🙂 Hope you feel better soon from that suspected tonsilitis

Ouch, seams you need to slow down a bit this weekend! Take care! hugs Sandra

Thought I had a title for this one but it’s kinda evaporated …

I think I’ve said this before sometime but if you know someone’s had a head injury, however minor, keep an eye on them. Damage that can seem superficial on the outside can hide more subtle damage on the inside. The brain is very complex and we don’t properly understand it …

So with my bump from Wednesday, the outside damage is superficial (ok, I should have had a stitch but it stopped bleeding on its own). When I came back into the practice, my reactions were still sound and my technique was working well so no problems with the reflexive parts of Me.

But where I have been struggling is speed and clarity of thought. Not had a headache but I’ve not been thinking or acting at a speed I’m accustomed to. I’ll be ok, I recognise the signs from fragmented memories of when I got hit before. I know what to look for this time, including the hidden signs. Part of it is trusting yourself – I’ve having more trouble than usual putting words together and have had to watch the typos.

One thing I always seem to do though is reverse react. That’s when you should really curl up into a ball but what you actually do is speed up and mask the trouble. So yesterday at work even though I was thinking slow, I was still thinking right. When I get damaged, I’ll react and push through it for as long as I need to. It’s like deferring the time I’ll need to rest and recover.

That’s enough of that though. Had today off work, partly due to anticipating being stiff from practice and to give the head chance to recover. And then slept 12 hours on and off this morning, including imagining a phone call at 7.30 this morning.

Had fun yesterday, topped off by getting out and about with the team in town. (We don’t do that often enough). Snow Queen was looking radiant as the Spring Princess (how come I can’t get those words out and just stand there like an idiot ?) and our table was alive with conversation all the way through.

But before that was thinking up a different explanation for my cut lip to anyone who asked. Here’s a selection :

“You shoulda seen the other guy”
“Practicing kendo without a mask”
“You should never run with scissors”
“Getting hungry during net practice”
“When you allow the other guy the first punch, you are allowed to dodge”

And my favourite, which I did eventually get to use :

“When a beautiful woman comes running towards you at top speed, you don’t have to catch them. You are permitted to dodge.”

That one’s actually true, I got a very similar cut lip at university where I was walking through the halls minding my own business when a very pretty first year student came running out of her room. I got to “She’s gorg…” before SLAM. Ok, maybe I wasn’t staring too much because I was going out with someone and my single mindedness there wouldn’t have allowed the possibility. Anyway, next thing I know the cut is getting washed in her sink and then I’m getting dragged off to hospital A&E by my girlfiend.

4 hours later I get seen and the cut has already stopped bleeding, treatment unnecessary. I MISSED MY PIZZAA !!! Yep, that was what we’d planned to get. Or maybe that was what we bought after missing dinner at uni.

And that’s one incident where I learned to rely on my own healing than waiting for doctor’s appointments. Most of the time I’ve gone to doctors, the problem has healed before I’ve got in to see them.

Oh – I was highly amused by one person’s reaction to seeing the cut lip : “OH GOD PETE!” 🙂