Sleepypete's Pillow

Thanks for the book. I think I'll be enjoying that bit of reading… [grin]

Yep.

In the tradition started by Daleks*, I’m considering hiding behind the sofa while watching the delayed coverage of the cricket.

*(incidentally, this post has made my car the top result for a non-box shaped vehicle on google searches for “tardis blue”, although it has slipped down the page a little)

I’ve really enjoyed having the chance to chill out over the last couple of days. Definitely needed it. But cricket can be a far more tense game to watch than most people appreciate.

In football or rugby if the other team scores, it’s not something irrevocable. Your side can march up the other side of the pitch and even it out. Not so in cricket, with every ball something can happen. And if it’s your side that’s lost a wicket, that’s not something that can be got back in the game. If it’s your star player, that’s it for him.

Even at a target of under 100 and a decent batting side, it’s not a dead cert that England will win. (They may have got the result by now but I’m 3 hours behind live). England have been rediscovering that talent for clutching defeat from the jaws of victory. Hell, I’ve been solely responsible for smashing through a tail and turning results around inside one over so I’ve seen it happen on a few occasions. Not any more though because my shoulder is too weak.

Or is it … A little bit of shadow bowling, turning my arm over at about 60%, suggested that the mechanical hitch that destroyed my bowling action may have gone away … Promising. But I need to bowl with a cricket ball to see what I might have available. I had lots of options with my bowling :

Long run or short run – I preferred bowling off the long run as it was less strain on the shoulder (and this was before I bust it). But the long run meant I had too much momentum to control more than just a couple of variations.

Short run – I could bowl every variation of finger spin (badly!) and even a bit of wristspin. Wrist spin is supposed to be legspin but mine always came in to the right hander instead of going away like they were supposed to. But yeah, if I bowled spin in a match I had huge variation to choose from, every ball in the over could be different and not just spin variation. I even had a doosra that was the only thing I could bowl for a while, never a carom ball though. But I had to put so much effort in I couldn’t sustain it for long.

Long run – your momentum supplies the effort
Short run – your arm is sole source of the effort

And the longer run was far more effective anyway. Can’t argue with figures like 10 overs for 9 runs (1 wicket but it was sooo tight I remember it), 9.4 overs for 6 wickets to win a game by 6 runs taking 3 wickets in my last over or what I did in my first game for the men’s team : 4 overs 9 runs 4 wickets to win a game.

Good times. Definitely good times. I won the bowling trophy that year, getting more wickets than anyone else even though I played just 3 quarters of the season and hurt my back with several games to go. And my efforts helped push us towards runners up spot in the league that year. Batting is my strength now but I’ve never won a game with my own efforts with the bat. Saved them yeah (highlight being the second game I got hit on the head) but not been the star.

Yes – I’ve substituted “laptop and blogging” for “sofa” for my thing to hide behind. Cook and Trott are batting well at the moment but Strauss let it slip about 1 ball before I started writing this post.

What else ?

Mirror Mirror is a seriously cool film. By the power of late text messages, I ended up rapidly getting ready to sprint to the Mall on Thursday evening to meet up with Craziequeen, where I had my second pizza in 2 days (don’t look at me like that ! The scales still say I’m SlinkyPete 🙂 ) before going on to watch a bit of magic. Let’s just say there will be 2 copies of Mirror Mirror being bought by the Crazies who went to see this one. It’s not the best film out there but it’s huge fun and entertaining. Hopefully Hunger Games is as good, although that’ll be an entirely different film.

Meh – Trott’s gone, which has evaporated a bit of superstition from the other day.

And with that, it’s about time to properly retreat behind that sofa before the cricket gets reaaaally tense.

But not before wishing my neighbour Cyberkitten a happy birthday 🙂

Right – the delayed cricket has hit that point where I’ve switched to half watching it (despite Pietersen getting in and looking to dominate) although I am quite happily chortling away at the commentary. Beefy and Greiggy are on form having fun with Lamby “that crab was bigger than ‘im !!!”

And since I’ve started this post, soporific cricket in the morning has turned into BOOMBOOMKP cricket 🙂 Ball’s flying everywhere and the crowd are donning the hard hats.

That’s enough of the Boys of Summer, on with the music (that’s Don Henley’s signature tune by the way)

Letting myself switch off from work over the next week or so makes it feel like a Brand New Day (Lisa Miskovsky). She’s got a fantastic voice but is let down a little by the songwriting being a little generic. Still, with a voice like that, she can Sing To Me any time. (And it’s in a range I can mostly sing along to!)

How’s the Weather With You (Crowded House and still a favourite) around the world at the moment ? After our summer last week, it’s back to dark skies here and snow in Scotland. America has tornados.

I’m not so sure that we’re moving to a Warmer Climate (Snow Patrol), just a more energetic one. The winters are still cold, the summers aren’t hotter than I can remember from baking all day on a cricket field. But the storms are definitely more intense.

The clocks changed here very recently and one thing that guarantees is Here Comes The Sun (George Harrison). You can’t help but raise a smile at “Here comes the sun, it’s allllright”.

Still grey skies at the moment here but I’m hoping Mr Blue Sky (sung by Lily Allen there) comes out again soon. I have a back that would really appreciate me lying on the bed with a book, getting a baking from warm sun through the window.

Yep, Sunshine After The Rain (Elkie Brooks) would be good. Although a drought threatened England could do with at least some rain to make sure those cricket pitches are good for the summer.

And if the sun’s out, then it’s far easier to Rise And Shine (early happy Cardigans).

Here’s to some Good Times (Edie Brickell) this summer and hoping my legs let me pull out the Moves Like Jagger (Maroon5) on the cricket field. Ok, maybe not the dancing but fast feet are a real blessing in cricket.

Crikey I must have been tired.

Can barely keep the eyes open at the moment, although I know that if I went to bed right now I’d not likely get to sleep anyway. Not a good idea to do that right now anyway cos :

6.45pm – finished up at work for the Easter break
(problems at the contractors meant something I needed to do Stuff didn’t arrive until late)
Off to Dominos to pick up essentials,
Pizza + movie + popcorn

So I’m full of pizza and popcorn at the moment, which is why I need to stay up for another couple of hours (actually another hour now with the amount of time spent on this post!). Bed on full tummy is not a good idea (figuring that is one reason why the diet is going well !)

The movie was Book Of Eli. It’s a post apocalyptic movie starring Denzil Washington. It’s a star performance too. Well worth catching if you’ve not seen it.

I’m kinda surprised at how big the movie collection has got now. I’ve been collecting since I added a dvd player to my PC in 1998, so you can probably imagine how many I have cluttering up the bookshelves. Curious to know how long it would take to watch them all. There’s no easy way to count like in iTunes (5412 songs, 14.9 days to listen to them all).

Wonder how long it would actually take for someone to go through my movie collection. Any volunteers ? I have popcorn …

I also appear to have picked up 12 cupcakes and all sorts of other stuff due to going shopping yesterday while hungry. Multibuy offers can be insanely dangerous.

Really tired right now though. I can keep myself going through just sheer bloodymindedness. I’ve been hyperactive at work (with the cost of missing some attention to detail) but flaking out at home due to running on empty. I’m close to flaking out now but that’s because I know I don’t have to get my brain active tomorrow morning. It’ll be bed until I get bored of trying to sleep (not been sleeping well lately), followed by falling asleep in front of as-live cricket on telly.

It probably shows how tired I am right now by how disconnected this post is ?

Definitely looking forward to regenerating some energy over this next week. It won’t take me long either until I’m bored of my own company. I like being around people, even if I have some difficulty in overcoming the isolation. I’ll definitely miss :

Real Boss – cos I pick up on his professionalism, which sparks off mine too. We both like to get stuff done and we like to get it done right. We do have trouble communicating sometimes though as we have to translate into each other’s mindset. He’s orthodox chaotic, I’m unorthodox order and we both OCD. Spot the clash potential ! 🙂

The Boss – been leaning on her empathy lately more than she’s been leaning on my tech skills. And I think she has a secret plan to spoil me with Creme Eggs.

My Scottish Go To Girl – she’s my counterpart in the Scotland office. We both try and keep up with what our bosses are up to and manage to anticipate their need for info by staying a step or two ahead. We compare notes and keep each other laughing. Can’t do much in this world without information and me and the Go To Girl conspire to get the right info out there.

Canteen Mob – I get the feeling these girls are getting near the end of their tether with management interference but they still manage the playfulness when they’re dealing with the lunchtime queue.

The Old Team – it’s a little sad how I’m more connected with the team I used to be a part of before migrating into Requirements than I am with the team we got parachuted into. I still go round there a fair bit cos that’s where the milk is and cos of project-y liaison Stuff. I’m a central point for info and process because I’ve been there so long I Know Too Much.

And lastly but most of all –

The Snow Queen ! Cos she’s a legend and one of very few people who can follow me when my brain starts flying off at tangents. And because the reward for succeeding with the “must make Snow Queen laugh” quest is an ear to ear angelic smile breaking out beneath eyes whos sparkle promises devilry and mischief.

PS Cricket on telly tomorrow means I’ll hopefully be in the right frame of mind to do that Summer Music post 🙂

Feeling much better today and that has to do with a few things :

An absolute darling of a little lady who spotted last night’s post and immediately popped up on Facebook chat to cheer me up,
Cake ! today,
Getting stuff done – I’m almost clear on stuff that Has to be done before the break,
Feeling good – apart from the old groin tear I’m in good shape.

I think I’m struggling mentally due to tiredness but I’ve also been reliving and remembering stuff that’s caused me a fair bit of emotional trauma in the past. I’d forgotten or did selective amnesia on how unpleasant my last major break up got. I reread one or two of the old emails today and they are scary …

Not really scary for the content, that’s quite tame. It’s just the mindset behind the communications. I must have been incredibly angry to go that deep into cold anger. That’s like going straight past my hot passion anger stage and into a cold steel anger. I really don’t want to be in a place like that again. And the reasons for that anger won’t be getting put here, it’s history and should really stay there although I will say that circumstances justified it …

It’s not just the relationship stuff I’ve been remembering though, there’s been other reminders lately too. Some things can catch me unawares, something someone said last week just made my legs go out from underneath me like a ghost from the past tripping me up. Saying that though, I’ve been feeling lately that some of the armour I’ve been wearing for the past 20+ years is fading away. I don’t think I need it any more. But as part of getting rid of the armour, I’m remembering and reliving the reasons why it’s there.

To happier times. And those start from being able to talk through your problems with people you trust.

Problems shared always seem easier. It gives a chance to think through your ideas and plans with someone who can give you an honest opinion on whether they’re sensible or wishful thinking. (I indulge in the wishful thinking a bit too much I think!)

I’m doing it again aren’t I ? Starting with one theme, Wall Of Texting on another. Holiday plans :

Chilling out as much as possible 🙂
Fixing that darn loo – need to get compatible bits and if my arms are up to the heavy lifting 🙂
Getting the car serviced – been procrastinating again …
Investigating getting a washing machine
Tidying the house up
Giving someone a chance to escape into joining the chill out ?

I was doing ok there until the wishful thinking hit on the last one 🙂

I have a few domesticy things to sort out – the loo has been the longest running one. But I also need to replace a couple of things in the kitchen. The hot water tap has stiffened up and needs a towel to turn it off. The washing machine works but I’m not convinced it’s all that effective. And while I’m doing that hot tap, I might as well be replacing the sink.

This house has done pretty good 🙂 There’s been a minimal amount of maintenance needed on it over the years. Just things like a boiler thermocouple, ballcock adjustment, minor stuff. It’s the surroundings that drag it down, I live very close to a collection of shops and the people in those use our road as their car park. The neighbour that isn’t CK also causes his own problems. I have to borrow CK’s drive far too often these days because of lack of consideration from the non-residents and no51, makes me feel bad.

One day to go until chillout – and there’s going to be pizza when I escape too 🙂

Thanks Dianne 🙂

As it happened, someone I love to bits spotted this post quite quickly and came on to Facebook chat to give me some cheering up 🙂

I want very much to give you a hug

an upcoming holiday sounds like a good thing

There’s a thing about certain bad news. No matter how much you know the near 100% possibility of certain things happening, there’s no real preparation for when it does occur.

That feeling’s hit again today. I think it’s due to feelings of being powerless. Some things you just cannot change or influence in any way. You know something bad’s going to happen but nothing you can do can change the outcome.

That’s a huge reason why I went into engineering as a career choice rather than medicine like the other half of the family. Doesn’t really matter if a machine breaks, just make or get a new one. Losing people though would be too much to bear. Hence doing stuff with machines rather than people.

That’s a side of me that I don’t believe comes out too much. I can be hyperactive on the outside but crying on the inside. And sometimes I’ll need to get that hyperactive mindset going or I’ll cave. But … I’ll only show negative emotions to very few people. Like – count them on one hand.

I suspect that’s the big reason why I feel isolated, because people don’t see me express the negative emotions, they don’t think I have the big emotions.

It’s not just that facing up to inevitability of Bad Things Bound To Happen, it’s seeing people who you care about in great pain because of what is happening to them. And not being allowed to help. It’s that feeling of isolation again, where I feel the shutters going up when I offer help. Maybe I just need to figure out a better way of offering the help. Perhaps the shutters go up because they want to shield me from the pain. I can recognise that from when I’ve dealt with that pain in the past. I didn’t want to inflict people with it at the time either.

I just like to help people in any way I can … And get frustrated when I’m denied the chance.

I’m rambling again. Or maybe I just need the chance to talk things through with a person or people I trut utterly. There aren’t many of those and I rarely get the chance to talk in situations where I’m not inhibited. I’ll not talk deep stuff in the office because I simply don’t trust a lot of the people there. You’re not just talking with one person, you’re talking to the whole office.

Still – the coping mechanism worked quite well today. I had trouble concentrating on Intended Monday Job (writing minutes) because my thoughts were at several different elsewheres but did manage to get a different one (Plz Can I Haz Money?) completed. I suspect having to run around various people’s desks is why I got the second one done, it kept me interacting with people.

Perhaps the news hit me harder than it should have done. But I do know two things :

Pink Hat Project suddenly got a lot more poignant,
I could really do with talking to someone* about Life, The Universe and Everything.

(*I guess that’s why shrinks and bartenders are so popular)

Two working days to go until much needed Holiday, unless cakes are delayed until Thursday. Yes. The cakes are that good. I’d delay the start of my leave for them.

Thought about that grindiness …

ME1 and ME2 – you'd do everything because you Wanted to. And doing stuff made the game easier because it advanced your character through experience.

ME£ – you do everything because you feel you Have to, it contributes to a "readiness" variable that affects the ending.

Wanting to do stuff > Having to do stuff
(and this is a crucial factor never to be forgotten when it comes to stuff that's supposed to be enjoyed)

I’m sure even the non gamer people might have heard recently about a game called Mass Effect … It’s been hitting the headlines for a few reasons :

It was the first Headline sign that the Game group of shops were going under,
The day 0 DLC that was included on the dvd
Nerd Rage is rampant over the endings
And there’s the online campaign to get those endings changed …

I’ve just finished the last in the trilogy now so I now know what they meant by those endings.

As a purist gamer and avid viewer of scifi on the telly, I really don’t have a problem with the general theme behind the ending I chose. The very worst thing with episodic scifi, which the Mass Effect series definitely counts as, is where the story is left hanging. B5 Crusade was just getting interesting when it got cut off in its prime. Serenity didn’t really close out the Firefly arcs. Star Trek (original timeline) left it hanging too. The Star Wars Yuuzhan Vong (New Jedi Order) books just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for itself.

I much prefer definitive finishes to my scifi.

Blakes 7 definitely did it that way and it left it open to the imagination too. What precisely did happen when the screen went dark and Avon started his maniacal laugh ? There was a book to follow up but the book was rather pants. Farscape ended itself well, eventually.

And Mass Effect does that well too, in my opinion.

The first game set the scene and opened up a wonderful universe with great colour and contrast between its inhabitants. It was a gritty, real universe where possibilities abounded. The second heightened that, showing the darker side. And the third takes it to an apocalyptic conclusion. The ending is fitting and final, as it should be.

As a game though, the third falls a little short. The second is different to the first and improves upon the first in almost every way. The only area where ME2 fell short is that it is more linear with less potential for free roaming, the compensation being far more variation in the scripted areas. ME3 takes the base ME2 game and removes the annoying mining minigame. However, it also has less attention to detail in some key areas like the quest log. That used to update according to the status of quests, that’s got broken. It’s ME2.1, rather than ME1 done better.

But … the whole charm of the Mass Effect universe is that your choices in previous games come back to either haunt or hug you. Every choice matters and there are lot of awesome nods going back to what came before. Save the rachni, there’s a mission to come later. I’m curious now as to what would happen if you didn’t save them, as there’s a powerful enemy artillery type unit that starts as rachni.

Will I play ME3 again any time soon ? I don’t think so. While I went through Deus Ex HR 4 times in a row and was happily addicted to ME1 and ME2 in their time, that addiction has broken with ME3. I think it’s more grindy than the previous games. Almost like there’s a lot of padding in there to make the game longer with artificial content. Except it’s still quite varied. It just felt grindy at the time. (That could be me getting jaded on gaming in general).

If you’re a gamer and haven’t tried out the Mass Effect series, give it a go. It’s a highly impressive blend of first person shooter and role playing game. It has the trademark Bioware story quality as well.

But … my last memory of the game for a while will be the ending (not giving spoilers here) followed by a popup saying “You can continue the Mass Effect series through DLC and expansions”. WTF ! And you’ll need to know those spoiler endings to know where that WTF comes from.

It’s really sad that the last impression and therefore the lasting impression from this epic series is EA looking to fleece the customer for more money from DLC. The ending was fine but that ending message left a very sour taste.

At least the Deus Ex Human Revolution people resisted it with their game, except with an Easter Egg type nod to Deus Ex. (Deus Ex HR = 3rd game, set 20ish years before Deus Ex = 1st game). And that’s where I’m likely to be headed next for my next gaming fix, although there are those pesky dragons menacing Skyrim …