Hello everyone,
It’s been a while again. I think that might be partly down to burn out that I realised might have been going on for perhaps 2 and a half years now. It’s an insidious thing, burn out, you know something’s going on because your patterns change but it tends to creep in and make those changes to your behaviours without you realising.
So for me, it probably started at the beginning of the covid period and there were a few work things that really brought it out. Yep, even more than the extreme skin condition that I had for too many years before that. Perhaps that just wore down the reserves so that the anxiety of the first lockdown periods (and probable covid around March to June 2020) coupled with the work stuff activated the burn out. One symptom may actually have been the creation of this blog, as a knock on to getting annoyed with how Google/Blogger were changing how you use that system. I think that’s been a positive change overall though as it’s let me learn a few things that I took for granted with Blogger. Oh wait ! Caption.
I’m off work this week, it felt like I’d been running backwards and went straight into a wall. Some of that is increasing anxiety about things I should be getting sorted out but don’t have the energy to attempt to start. Which is its own feedback loop as well. Because the job isn’t started, the anxiety increases. I need to look into other ways of getting that sorted out.
What has been going on ? Been doing space again …
That’s my old Cobra Mk3 again from Elite Dangerous, with one of the free paint packs from the latest drops campaign. Good seasonal paint job although I think when Tea 89 comes out again, I’ll put it back to the orange and white livery. There wasn’t a special paint job for Tiamat’s Chariot :
There’s actually a bit of unfinished business there with a Community Goal in progress. With today’s activities, I haven’t had a chance to drop off the cargo I collected on the weekend. Oh and I had a look at another space game too :
It was good to have another look at Eve Online. It’s a persistent online universe space game, where you fly with I think it’s 10,000 other pilots. The large battles can have 1000’s of players on multiple sides with everything from little tackle frigates to titan super capital ships. Around that, there are epic battles for territory and industrialists supplying the ships to fuel those battles. Everything in the game is player built or supplied. Oh and the game is (in)famous for its espionage as well.
I got curious so I installed the game again but it’s one game I’m going to have to stay well clear on lest I do get drawn into it. Too many games, not enough time and Eve has heavy expectations on player time.
I’ve also completed the achievements on Little Big Workshop. Indeed, this might be another sign of the burn out. While I’ve dived into games like LBW, I’ve been very wary about going back into games like Elite which take a bit more energy and effort to play.
But … there is a new toy here that has taken a fair bit of mental effort today …
I splurged on a laptop … The motivating factor was with me traveling more for work, the old laptop is a bit too chonky. It’s a 2.6kg lump, the new one is a 1.2kg light 14″ screen laptop. There were other motivations as well, the screen on the old laptop is pretty poor.
What didn’t I get – HP and Dell because their performance and reliability in the work laptops is nasty. The work Dell I have now struggles to interface with the screens. It’ll sometimes refuse to connect to a screen when it’s plugged back in and suffers from worrying graphical corruption if that interface is stretched a little. I avoided getting another Asus due to the screen quality of the last one, plus I think they charge for the name as well as the equipment. Lenovo … weren’t offering the spec I wanted plus I didn’t get good vibes.
So I went with Acer again, the family has had a string of these machines and they’ve all done really well for us up to the point where they ran out of capability due to the software moving on. (Disclosure note – I bought and paid for laptop 100% although they do run fairly substantial discounts on the Acer website).
Today’s activity has been figuring out the differences with Windows 11 and starting to get everything copied over. I got worried early on because the laptop was showing signs of being unresponsive due to hardware issues but those went away as soon as I switched wifi. (Oh and after ripping Norton out). So I have the old laptop, new laptop and desktop talking to each other over the network now. It connects to the various bluetooth devices ok too.
iTunes is being more of an issue, because I’m having to authorise the computer and copy the library via Homeshare in iTunes 12 before I downgrade that back to the usable iTunes 10.7. I’ll have to look at that issue again because the Apple ecosystem isn’t sustainable there. I use iTunes 10.7 for the DJ feature, which is the only way I listen to music on it. The issue with switching laptop is that 10.7 isn’t allowed to sign in to Apple store stuff now which means alternate means required for copying the library over. Only 7000 more tracks to go (it’ll be running overnight).
Another issue I’ll be looking to sort is the sound again. Windows and laptops (especially Realtek hardware) seem to really suffer for loudness, although that might be down to me having them fight for dominance among music, stream and desktop. But Chrome does always feel quieter than the audio test and the levels from Chrome never seem particularly high. I’ll be looking into this more. One really happy thing is that Chrome has pulled my settings and tabs across from old laptop to new laptop, although the various cookies needed to be set up again.
What I do need to do is get myself out of the house. Maybe Thursday ? I think tomorrow will involve attempting to get better sleep tonight (it’s been at a premium lately) and then doing the Elite Community Goal stuff tomorrow afternoon. But I do need to get out and about because being in the house too much isn’t particularly healthy.
So … am suffering with the burn out, not really seeing an end to that at the moment but I’ll keep monitoring and attempting to look after myself better than I have been doing. The last couple of months feel like they’ve been rough too, with me going from a tummy issue on the away trip, into ginger poisoning, into probable covid again and then physical issues with a cramp tear in my leg and the shoulder coming out again.
And in the meantime, people seem to think I’m doing all right with the work now which helps a lot. The last post descended into feeling utterly devalued due to a management chain that went pretty weird. I’ve been doing better since getting out of that atmosphere.
And I’m looking forward to listening to all that music again with a fresh ear. That’s one thing proven, laptop can talk to hifi ! Hurrah. And the physical issues were starting to relent at the end of last week. Just need a proper sleep pattern again now.
Sleep well everyone, be well. And there are only 6500 tracks to copy over now.
Addendum – I was having problems getting into the laptop BIOS to reverse the rather offensive reversed Function key behaviour (where F2 does airplane mode instead of F2). You’re supposed to press F2 or something while the laptop is starting to be able to get in. This wasn’t working. However ! These people at Tenforums (link) have a very comprehensive and helpful answer. Sorted !