Been thinking (in the time when I’m not thinking of other stuff) of why I do the gaming thing …
I think it’s as a distraction. Something to stop me thinking of stuff that does drive me to distraction. There’s someone I know. To save me putting … instead of a name, let’s just call her Dots (not Dotty cos that’s what I seem to be).
So – at the moment my head is being dominated by thoughts coming unbidden of what’s Dots up to ? Is Dots ok ? How’s she doing ? What would Dots think of … ? Etc. There’s a word for that I know. I think the reason the thoughts are coming out now is because when I first knew Dots, there was no chance of thinking of her as anything more than a little sister. Now though, there is the possibility for more so that mental wall has come down. Even before then, it’s always been about Dots. What did she think of the Bright Young Thing that caught the eye a couple of years ago ?
Where does the gaming come in with all this ?
It helps me forget.
Gaming tends to need either complete focus in the case of skill games or allows the brain to go to sleep in repetitive tasks (Moo2 in the endgame epilogue grind stage). That focus lets the part of my brain that’s asking the Dots questions have a bit of respite. I’ll descend into focusing on how to beat the game so much I’ll barely hear the music blaring out over the other side of the room.
Some people might call that unhealthy or borderline addiction. I don’t think it’s addiction, at least it’s not addiction any more. Game addiction is neglecting studies or work and a self destructing path of either alienating friends (like in the true WoW addicts) or destroying health. In my case, I should have flown through uni to get a 1st Hons MEng. I only have a 2:2 Hons MEng because I allowed myself to develop the gaming addiction that saw me firing up the PC as soon as I got in, not to do studies but to take over mystical worlds.
Game addiction means you are glued to the screen at every opportunity. You’re not in the game for fun or the classic storyline or because it’s a puzzle that’s not been cracked yet, you’re in it because that’s what you think you should be doing. The quest/reward cycle that defines games like World of WarCrack is at the centre of the cause of gaming addiction.
I don’t think I have the addiction any more, the various fallout from the breakup of the Mercenaries WoW guild gave me enough aversion therapy and lessons from seeing how other people behave under addiction to pull me out of that addiction.
So why do I game now ?
It’s definitely not for my health. At 37 years and struggling to keep the weight off, I should be getting outside more and exercising. I can’t get away with Natural Fitness as much as I used to for cricket. Sitting in a chair in front of the pooter barely moving anything but a finger on a mouse doesn’t do much for burning calories or shifting fat. It’s not for human contact either because I’m not playing the multiplayer aspect of the games I do have.
But as something that allows me to turn my brain away from distracting thoughts, to forget, it’s a lot better than some things people do to themselves. I don’t drink to forget. Even if I had the capacity to do so without being ill, I’d hate to think of what that would do to my liver.
And I can feel those “what would Dots think of this post” “will Dots realise who I’m talking about” thoughts coming through again. Need a distraction !
Time to continue the quest of a bionic man from the near future … (Trying Deus Ex Human Revolution now that I have a pooter that stands a chance of playing it)
PS Wonder if the Snow Queen will guess the identity of Dots as quickly as she guesses the rest of my codenames 🙂