Month: January 2018

It probably won’t surprise people that I’m being affected by the sad feelings at the moment.

I’ve ended up having a generally positive disposition. I’ll look for the humour wherever I can and I’ll dedicate time into and distract myself into making things that I hope make people laugh.

Because seeing people happy makes me happy, especially when they’re happy due to something I’ve come up with.

But yeah, behind that public happy laughing smiling face there is the melancholy feeling. I know that it will pass but I also know that the catalyst for helping to make it pass is likely to be other people.

I feel I’m lucky to have a little nucleus of people that I can open up to, who I can make laugh, who give me excuses to unleash that latent creativity, people I can trust. And I try and return that by cheering other people up.

That’s one thing about depression, when it hits it is very difficult for the person suffering from it to find how to climb out of that pit. It manifests in me by reduced energy levels, which make me cold. I also tense up which sparks off all those old injuries. And the pain that results from the injuries waking up again further tugs on my mental state.

I am in general ok. I’m not one of the unfortunate people who’s depression comes from brain chemistry that, for want of a better description, is out to get them and which needs rebalancing via drugs that cause other problems through side effects. My depression tends to come from events, or me not wanting to do stuff that I really actually do need to do. I’d much prefer to play the games or watch the videos than, say, clean the house and make it suitable for visitors. Yet there are people who I’d like to have the house in a state suitable for visiting.

(I actually just spotted a message come in from one of those lovely friend people and happily replying to that has made me forget my thread here !)

Games are one method of covering? for the depression. I can hide in a good book or a good game as it transfers my sphere of concentration away from what’s making me sad.

I do like to make jokes for people, although my humour is very reactive humour. I can never remember the old set piece type jokes but I’ll pick up on what people have been saying or doing, recognise something funny in it and use the photo editing tools to create something to hopefully make them laugh or try and bring out a chuckle through words.

I hope you all have people to make you laugh, or to help you turn the unhappy feels around into that little smile that signifies things are going right in your world again.

My melancholy will start to lift soon. There are things on my mind which will be on there for at least the next week or so. Plus I’ll be thinking of my mum and hoping she’s ok. (And the sister!) We’ve lost too much of our family over the last few years, hopefully we don’t lose any more soon !

That said, I’m not planning on disappearing off the face of the earth and my outsides are actually finally normalising. My sister’s a fireball and my mum’s a legend. We’re a tough mob, although we’ve lost too many of us too early.

I’ll definitely miss my nan, my dad and the old Ben-Pup (pets are family too). But I’ll lean back on those good memories.

I hope that if you have lost people too, you can lean on those old memories as well. They may not be with us physically but we hold them with us in our memories.

Remember.

And I just got a chuckling response from the HeyChrissa streamer lady from one of my random comments which brightened my evening.

That’ll be my closing words for today – stay away from the general public for sure if you have to, they can be very mean. But those special people, stay engaged with them. If you think they’re special, then that means you trust them to help you out when you need it.

Reach out if you need to.

I'm so sorry Pete. Sometimes life just sucks 🙁 Am thinking of you today.

Thanks Thumper. It would be good to be able to live fit and healthy forever though 🙂

Aw, man. I am so sorry…I hate this part of being an adult, I really do.

Thanks CK !

I'm sorry to hear that. My SERIOUS condolences!

Gosh this one’s going to be a tough post to write but let’s start with a picture.

My dad passed away yesterday. I wasn’t there but mum said it was peaceful and without pain.

But this isn’t about the end, it’s about the 75 years up to that point. This will only have a little bit about how good a dad I had but I hope it paints some of that picture.

Before you ask, I’m ok. The family’s holding things together, as is our way. You have to keep on functioning, despite what you might be feeling. And that’s what we do. (Although we will go to bits when we need to and in my case, writing has always been a better way to express my feelings than anything that goes from brain to gob).

I’ve been very lucky with my parents. They’ve always supported me, my sister and my brother when he was still with us. Pretty much everything they did was to support us kids.

What did he get up to ?

He pointed the way for me to get into the cricket. He hadn’t played for a long time before I did but supported me all the way. As he did with my sister and her horse riding. He gave me my first start at work, which prepared me for going into full time work. (And it was very handy for giving me a cash injection too !).

They bought our first cars and supported us kids into getting our independence. Not as a pushing us out the door kind of independence, we were always welcome and encouraged to come back to stay. There is always a place for us to crash there. In fact, this actually extended to allowing one of my ex girlfriends (this was uni) to stay there rather longer than she ought after that incident when I rescued said ex from what could have ended up being a nasty domestic violence incident.

He was a very keen gardener (and there were very many tasty veggies coming out of that garden too !). He built a house for us in Northern Ireland. Not many people can claim to have done that ! Things were a struggle for the family quite a few times but we kids were insulated from that by remarkable parents … but not so much that we weren’t able to deal with hardship when it presented itself later.

He taught me that if you read up on how to do things, you can do anything.

Outside of what was gifted us through our genes, we’ve never been that lucky as a family. But through the inspiration of people like my mum and dad, we’ve hopefully come out ok. But that’s for you all reading out there to judge.

There’s more, like the couple of trips to Wembley to see Rotherham play plus that day when Rotherham played Swansea and the referee incited a pitch invasion. I enjoyed getting out to see Yorkshire play cricket at various grounds too. Cos that was time with my dad, which was always precious.

Proud of him … and my mum, sister, brother while he was with us. Everything he touched had its own little bit of awesome with it.

Best dad ever. I’ll miss him.

Before I head into what’ll be a rather short book review, I better say where I’ve been for the past few days … (If you want to see the short book review and skip what could be hard to read, skip to the Lego Death Star).

I’m going to mysteriously disappear again quite soon and it’s due to the family situation I’ve been alluding to over the last few weeks. My dad is very ill and we’re not expecting him to be with us for too much longer.

He’s had a few small strokes lately and the bugs that have been going around have probably been too much for him. They were tough enough for us semi-healthy people to cope with ! He was frail but mostly ok over an enjoyable Xmas but those bugs have hit everyone since then.

I’ve come back to Bristol for a few days now so I can do a little looking after of myself but I’ll be heading back to where the parents live quite soon I think. What’s happening has partially hit my emotional state but we’re a family of people who don’t let what’s troubling us appear to the outside world much. We keep it hidden from most of the world and let out the emotions in private.

He’s been hanging in there over the last few days but he is very ill and I don’t think he’ll be coming home as he’d like to. We just don’t know how much time he has left.

Seeing how he is has made it hit home. So if the following mini review of book is downbeat, my own emotional state will be contributing to that.

To the book !

The book was Rogue One : Catalyst, a companion book to the recent highly excellent Star Wars universe movie. It was penned by James Luceno who I believe is a staff writer writing Star Wars lore books.

If you’re into Star Wars lore like I used to be (before the Yuuzhan Vong New Jedi Order books soured it for me), then this is an essential book to read. It tells the story of some of the Rogue One characters, putting more flesh on the bones of what’s going on in the movie. It concentrates on Galen Erso, Orson Krennic and has a bit of Governor Tarkin there as well. It picks up around the time of Attack of the Clones and before Revenge of the Sith and goes up to perhaps a year or so before the start of Rogue One.

But it’s so drab and dreary …

The Rogue One movie is excellent, joining the latest two main movies as one of the best films I’ve seen.

This book though, unless you are interested in the lore behind the book is an …. AVOID. There are far better books to read, even the depressing Abaddon’s Gate was a far superior book. It does explain what it’s trying to tell you very well but … it’s probably too tied into the rest of the source material and that doesn’t give it the breathing space that would turn it into a compelling story in its own right. Or is that just limitations of the author.

But this could be my current state of mind dominating my feelings.

As always, look at what people say about books like this (I’ll be avoiding the Star Wars Aftermath books), borrow multiple opinions and then make your own mind up.

This is actually a build from a while ago (September !) but, somehow, pictures never happened.

I must correct this !

That’s not actually what was acquired. Although I wouldn’t mind putting that together. And to have the space to put it together. I’ve acquired more Lego tonight (of which there will be a tease later), which is the catalyst for this post. What is this new flagship of the fleet ?

It came in many bags. Oh and as per usual, click for bigger. These are actually full size from the phone camera ! Normally, I’ll post a pic to Facebook and download it from there as the easiest way of getting pictures off the phone. But actually connecting the phone up to the Macbook and copying to my desktop from there is easier.

The first bag had the keel, upon which all else is laid.

The distinctive shape of the hull emerges and the insides start to fill out.

This one is definitely an inside to out build. The control tower is taking shape there as well as a mechanism by which you can hang the finished ship when complete. If you are brave enough to have a few kilos of Lego hanging on a single hook.

A look at the insides from another angle. This is an exceptional kit by the way.

The insides are now completely fitted out. (And my phone camera starts to struggle with depth of field !)

Every space ship needs her engines.

The hull and armour starts to come together.

Can you tell what’s coming together yet ?

Can you tell what it is yet ? 😀 This is a First Order Star Destroyer from the new movies. Without giving the spoilers, it’s a bigger ship than the original Star Destroyers. I think it’s twice as long. But it still has that wonderful dagger like Star Destroyer profile which makes this one of the most iconic ships in sci fi for me.

Skipping forward a few, this is the completed flagship. It has the iconic control tower, it’s just not nearly as big as the control towers on previous Star Destroyers (it’s the different proportions).

And a better look at the box :

To reiterate, this was a wonderful Lego kit and I definitely enjoyed putting it together. Thoroughly recommended.

I mentioned a tease pic …

There may be another picture later. Not tonight though. I’m not going to put the article together tonight.

More of the Expanse !

It’s quite a big series now. I think 7 books have been released and there are two more to come. I’ve just finished book 3.

I’ve really enjoyed the series so far. It’s an excellent examination of future space politics, technology, warfare, culture and above all, keeps it about the characters.

And there are space bars too.

I wasn’t quite so impressed with Abaddon’s Gate as I was with the first two books though. Hopefully it wasn’t a sign of the series running out of steam and I’ll definitely be returning to this series soon.

The problem with it is that it goes on too long. The book tells of one catastrophe following another. Which is ok, some books work really well like that. But there comes a point where you think there should be no more and that the story should be wrapped up. Adding yet another twist in makes the book outstay its welcome.

And that’s the feeling I got with this one. Maybe lose 50 pages from it.

Or that could be my bug addled mind not having the patience for it this time around.

What’s next ? Dunno yet. We’ll see. I need to read some of my Waterways World magazines at some point too. I have those in mind for filling one of the 52 book slots. But I did want to talk about the physics of these books and why they work.

This series doesn’t indulge in inertial compensators like most scifi. It has an excellent engine …. but that’s it. Acceleration is acceleration and too much of it is deadly. How deadly ?

We’re constantly subjected to a downwards acceleration force of 9.81m/s/s. Call it 1g. We feel the world hauling down on us, we’re used to it, we kinda need it sometimes too. I just took a swig from my drink, that 1g keeps the drink in the glass until its time has come.

When we’re in the car, every acceleration is a fraction of a G … despite what it feels like if you have a crazy driver. Working the numbers …. 0 to 60 mph (100kph to make it easy) in 5 seconds works out to a steady 5.56 m/s/s or just over half a G.

Spacecraft go at much higher G accelerations during the early launch and then settle down in the later stages. Peeking at some Saturn V Apollo stats :
Liftoff – 1.25g, ramping up to a max of 3.9g just before Stage 1 shut off;
The Space Shuttle peaked at about 3g;
Soyuz is under 4g.

And a lot of that is so that they don’t break the people. Equipment can typically be subjected to much higher accelerations. So if you have something unmanned, it can be thrashed more. We’ll come back to that.

In the Expanse, the people are subject to similar g limits depending on where they come from. Earthers are more sturdy due to being used to 1g. Mars are still quite sturdy, if I remember right Mars has 0.6g. The Belters grow up in typically 0.3g or lower so if they don’t have muscle and bone supplements, they literally can’t go to Earth or they will die, muscles, bones and heart crushed by the gravity. But they can withstand acceleration for a shorter duration.

But … they can also juice up with steroids and antinausea drugs to withstand that acceleration up to maybe 15g before blood vessels start exploding in their heads. One of the core threads of Abaddon’s Gate is a Slow Zone, where they have a maximum speed … and are dead stopped when they exceed that. As in … (quick mental math) 120m/s/s or 12g minimum without juice or acceleration crash couches. OUCH.

What does that equate to in, say, Star Trek ? Let’s go to another scifi universe first … The Honorverse talks about up to 500g, with inertial compensators to stop the crew becoming embedded in the bulkheads when they step on the gas.

Let’s start with Warp 1 or lightspeed in Star Trek … Light speed is 299,792,458 m/s.

We’ll be generous and say they take 10 seconds to get there … And then divide by 10 again for 1g = 9.81m/s.

Answer – Warp 1 from stop to c in 10 seconds is …. 3,000,000 g. 3 million g.

Squish !

The Expanse is a smaller universe so far to the point that I’ve read but they make it make a huge amount of sense. Another bit of silliness is the amount of energy required. The Kinetic Energy equation is 0.5 x Mass x Velocity x Velocity. So that’s 0.5 x Mass (Enterprise D was 4.5m tonnes) x 300 million squared. That’s a lot of zeroes. I gotta work this out now 🙂

Kinetic Energy of Enterprise D at Warp 1 = 0.5 x 4,500,000 x 300,000,000 x 300,000,000 =
202,500,000,000,000,000,000,000 kJ (tonnes to kg conversion balanced by J to kJ conversion)
That would be a lot of GigaWatts to get the ship to warp speed.

And I’m now looking forward to reading more Expanse ! Maybe Rogue One Catalyst first though.

PS Still bugged, so I’ll keep the physics book back a little bit.