One of the things I watch regularly is a series called Dexter. It’s one of the better series on at the moment (although the Rita character was getting seriously tired) about a serial killer who works for the police as a forensics blood spatter expert.
If you’ve not seen any Dexter, it’s recommended. We’re into the 6th series now on FX over here and it’s still going strong.
Anyway – one of the scenarios Dexter is in at the start of series 6 sees him hunting a mark at a school reunion. He’s frustrated by all the attention he’s getting … Instead of being anonymous, everyone wants to talk to him making it tougher to investigate his target.
He’s getting the attention because he’s :
Single
Independent
Professional
Intelligent
Physically fit
And apparently without vices …
I share a lot of that, although I could do better with a couple of them. I’ve been living on my own (with a couple of medium term relationships) since leaving school and I think I’m doing ok with looking after myself. Although perhaps the vacuum cleaner and the ironing board should be seeing more use.
I have the professional living pattern, which keeps me in my home and with enough means to buy what I want (I’m not too extravagant which helps with that). I have my own unique intelligence which I hope shows in these posts. Although I describe myself as “a little extra”, I’m now at a strong weight. The only place I have excess baggage is around my middle. That’s part of my standards thing. I expect very high standards from myself (not necessarily from others) so having that baggage is a Not Like.
I have sufficient natural fitness that after long periods away, I can get straight back into cricket and within a couple of games it won’t look as if I’ve been idle. I can be somewhat frail and break things easy … but people rarely realise until I show off the bruises. I daresay I could still provide the muscle to push start cars on my own like I could while at uni.
The only vice I have is being an Information Junkie. (Games used to be but that addiction has faded into “something to do”). And that just means I’m interested in the world around me.
So you would have thought with all that, I’d be a magnet for people looking to bop me on the head to drag me off to their lair ? Nah. I must be avoiding the places where all the cavegirls like that go. Or I’m just not getting the chance to meet them.
I suspect part of it is whether I show interest or not. And that tends to be limited only to those people I’m actually interested in. I’ve never caught the Bristolian habit of saying “my love” to every half stranger out there, I keep terms of endearment for those people where I really mean it. “Love” is a very special thing and should be treated that way. Keep the term in reserve for when you really mean it and the recipient will know you think they’re special.
Dunno if that makes sense or not.
Where I do get frustrated is when I get blocked, shut out or just plain ignored. I find that very hard to deal with. I think it’s quite rude. I suspect one reason I jumped into my two Bad Idea long term relationships is because the other person showed interest in me. I’d have been so surprised I would have ignored the “Are you mad ?” voice in my head. (For the first it was “she’s mad and a user”, for the second it was “you’re only interested cos she’s broken”).
But yeah – every time where I’ve made that first step of seeing if someone’s interested in Me, I’ve ended up being shut out. Ok, some of those times I’ve had no business asking and realised that not long after. That doesn’t stop the rejection through being blanked any less tough to take though.
Perhaps I need to go to some of those reunion thingys.
PS There’s one slight problem with the school reunion scenario for me … I went to an all boys grammar school. I’m not interested in boys ! I am curious though as to where the girls (actually 2nd/3rd year students when I was in my first) who used to watch us play cricket are now though. Strange that I can remember the names of two of them but not the third.