Sleepypete's Pillow

Not quite sure why,

Sometimes I just go dark for a little while. That’s happened a bit more lately as I look within to try and fix without. (Translation – trying not to think too much while trying to keep the discipline that will let my outsides mend)

It is genuinely mending but it’s also very easy to do more damage to it. I’ve missed the cricket season, plus I’d not be playing anyway because … Ow. Big Ow.

I’ve hurt my back again, same injury as when I was 16 and running around trying to bowl fast. If you’ve not coped with a back injury, it feels like you’re a puppet who’s strings have been cut. Pain comes often, especially when you try and do complex movements. By complex, I mean combining a turn with a bend. It can be managed, usually by keeping the movements simple but that’s a more awkward style. I prefer to move fluidly.

Perhaps we can learn from our international friends in how to deal with these problems ?

I’ve seen a few of these problem solving methods in action via work. The Italy one is spot on. Kinda glad their part of the project was a couple of steps removed from us. Oh and my version of the 5 o’clock tea was the Half Past 3 Cookie.

Yep. They still call me the Cookie Monster in the canteen.

What have I been doing with my spare time ? I’ve been putting some of that time into a game called Banished. It’s a medieval survival town building simulator. In my current game, I’ve started off on Hard mode, which gives you 8 adults, 4 kiddies (who don’t do any work) and a limited amount of supplies. The challenge is to have them survive by having food producing buildings, houses to put them in and fuel to keep the houses warm. It’s a definite challenge. My town is currently stable and growing with 85 people.

It’s a game where things happen slowly but there’s a definite inertia to how it works. Not enough blacksmiths ? Your people run out of tools and can’t produce as much. Too much population growth ? Your people can’t get enough food to survive. Not enough people chopping wood ? Your people can’t stay warm in the winter.

It’s a captivating and complex game. My next targets are to either run lots of people in my mines (Steam achievements 😉 or to have 300 people. There’s another couple of achievements there – 300 people without trading posts, 300 people without schools. Hard mode starts you without a couple of forms of agriculture, trading posts let you buy seeds or herd animals to enable that agriculture. Schools keep your kids out of the labour pool for longer but make them more efficient when they have learned Stuff.

And it opens up mischief :

Yes. I’ll be watching them carefully.

Oh what did I say about pain earlier ?

I get a different ouch every day. I’ve had full use out of my body but without the training that would have prepared it for all the damage I’ve inflicted on it. It tends to remind me of different ouchies every day, sometimes it’ll be my hips, sometimes my knees, often my back, occasionally the shoulder. I deal with that as it comes.

Sometimes though, that dealing with it thing is counterproductive :

I can very easily do the damage to myself. It’ll often happen in the morning or overnight when I let my discipline guard down to try and facilitate sleep. The immediate symptom is Itchy-Itchy. So I attack the complaining spot. I then take 10 minutes being upset about setting the healing back.

Trouble is, sometimes the fixing it involves leaving it alone which can be difficult when you’re 10 minutes or so away from rushing for the bus.

But I’m getting there, I’m seeing genuine improvement balanced by when I damage things again. The anti-histamines seem to have helped but I suspect there’s a bit of placebo effect there. Positive mental attitude goes a long way though. I may not always have that on the inside but the smile always seems to be there on the outside trying to cheer other people up.

That’s one from the past ! Nasty car, great smiley.

Those images were pretty funny. Please visit my blog. It will help me to be excused from taking one of my final exams. tejalchawla.blogspot.com

Was off visiting the mum and dad this weekend again.

My dad is a lifelong supporter of the Millers, aka Rotherham United Football Club. While I do follow a lot of sport, football isn’t one of them. It’s a fun game when played among mates but at the professional level, it takes on all the worst aspects possible in sport. There’s ineptness, thuggishness and blatant cheating. And it’s all excused because of the tribalism involved in supporting the team. We’ve even seen that this week with the sexist trash leading the Football Association being excused from the horrible things he’s been saying behind closed doors.

But.

It’s Rotherham. And a Wembley trip. And my dad asking if I want to go. Second thoughts ? Hell no.

What was it ? The game was the play off for the League One. That’s the third tier of football here. Whoever won would be promoted to the Championship, which is the tier below the top tier.

It was a pretty decent game. Rotherham were doing a great job of controlling it but weren’t doing much in terms of turning that control into threats for goals. Leyton Orient were being very physical with the referee showing a blind eye to their tough tackling. He also turned a blind eye to a blatant penalty that Rotherham should have been awarded in the opening minute. Meh.

We went down 2-0 in the first half but came out fighting in the second to draw level. The match then went to penalties and everyone was biting their nails. Rotherham win ! Hurrah.

But I don’t really want to talk football that much. I do want to talk about this fella :

That’s Ben the Staffy.

It’s always good to see the old dog when I go to the parents place. He’s getting on a bit and starting to struggle but he’s still the same : affectionate, loyal, loving puppy he’s always been. He’s in great condition in general now too. He’s been on a bit of a diet and that coat of his is shining and the muscles are well defined. He has been a bit of a barrel in the past but he’s back to about the right shape for him.

He’s a typical Staffy in temperament. They’re very gentle dogs. When confronted with a naughty child who was taunting him and Murph with food (we were in a pub beer garden and the child was running loose), Ben comes back to his people.

But when treated right, he’ll slurp anyone. It’s great to have a Staffy Dog type welcome when you get there and there’s genuine Unhappy Pooch moping when he knows you’re going away for a bit again. He loves his people.

I don’t think he likes Murph (Sister’s dog) that much. Murph’s very definitely just at puppy mentality and that gets very wearing on Ben. But at the same time, Ben doesn’t want to be left out of play, even though his body isn’t letting him keep up. There’s a bit of “Oh Dear Bone, that obnoxious other dog will be here too soon” neurosis coming in with poor old Ben.

Old ? You can probably tell from that grey muzzle that Ben’s getting on a bit. We think he’s thirteen years old now, which is doing pretty well for a Staffy. He’s on heart pills, plus his natural paw is bending in even more now. He’s really struggling there :

Right paw – broken by car accident before we had him. Sister looked after him while he recovered. This paw mended straight and is still in great condition.
Left paw – is subject to a genetic defect where the paw turns in towards the right paw. It puts a lot of stress on the lower joint, more stress than poor Ben can take at times. He can still put a fair bit of weight on it but I doubt whether he’d be running on it given choice.

That’s where Murph can be a strain for him, because Ben will want the agility to avoid him which isn’t there due to the bad left paw. Sadly, the only way to fix it would be to surgically break it and have it mend properly. But – would you want to inflict that on a thirteen year old dog ? It’s that conflict between :

Consistent lower level pain through inaction
Acute high level pain through action

You know that the surgical option would relieve the pain in the long term but you don’t want to inflict that pain on a beloved member of the family.

And such a character too. Here’s the last pic :

There’s never a more adoring or desperate sight than a dog awaiting his dinner. I think there’s a little limp on here too from that paw, conflicting with the urge to BOUNCE in anticipation of his munchies.

And there’s Ben ! I wanted to share a bit about Ben. We don’t know how long he has last. Between his paw and his heart, we don’t know how long he’s got left. But, he’ll be missed. He’s a typical Staffy :

Loyal
Affectionate
Gentle

And a true friend.

Yeah. Lots of wholesale property destruction, as is good and proper for a Godzilla movie. Bit of character detected in the big fella too.

A very worthy movie.

It was a fun film. Rather better than I expected.

Craziemob’s off to see Godzilla today.

Personally, I don’t have that many expectations for it. Except perhaps for a bit of brainless scifi monster movie action. I had similar expectations for Pacific Rim and thought that was pretty awesome.

Godzilla’s been a monster movie staple for decades. He’s the mutated superbeast lizard with fiery breath that beats some of my colleagues after they’ve had chilis and curries.

As an aside – one of the unfortunately funny times in Warcraft was when I had my character eating the Dragonbreath Chilis. Normally you use food in WoW to get more health, to hit harder, to generally boost the character. But there are fun ones … Some turn you into pirates, some into ninjas, some into skeletons. And then there’s the Dragonbreath Chili. It’s from a day gone age of WoW, right back into the original game. What’s it do ? If you get hit, there’s a chance of a belch. OF FIRE !

How cool is that ?

Bashara the warrior turns into Bashara the Godzilla Tank.

Did the tactic work in game ? Yes. And no. It was a little too good. I used it for an encounter where you get a ridiculous amount of enemies appear and you break the 40 into teams to manage them and stop them hitting the boss who is under your control at this point. My job was to get as many mobs as I could get to have their attention on me. The chilis were great for that, as the fire breath would grab extra enemies. No ? Because it grabbed the ones we didn’t want on me.

Oh well. It did have the side effect of making half the raid go “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT !” Always something worth doing.

But that aside. How about Godzilla ? What kind of challenges does a mutated descendant of a T-Rex face ?

Haha – But life isn’t always like that

How about keeping in shape ?

But at least they gave our ancestors motivation

But evolution has got around that by now surely ?

Awww come on. Someone give the poor wee fella a hug.

But they don’t have it all bad

Oh and with the right equipment, you too can be :

I’ll leave it there !

PS If you see one of your pictures here, leave a comment with the credit. I’ve raided them from Google Images lookingfor ones that don’t have a (C) on but … there’s all those naughty people who slice the “I did this” off the pic.

We’ve all been encouraged to vote today.

It’s the European elections, which we all tend to be a bit cynical about over here. GB is part of Europe, so we have this other elected body that makes European Union legislation. Do we trust it ? Hell no. A lot of the time, it seems like the laws made there are :

Crazy – as in batshit crazy nonsence
Nationally motivated – usually to advantage one country and disadvantage another
Not widely adopted – some countries pay lip service to the EU law, some like GB adopt everything

It seems sometimes like our law here is dominated by the law coming out of Brussels, the centre of the European Parliament. And it’s usually law that hurts GB citizens and lessens our quality of life.

However … and this is where you have to be very careful with politics : the opinion we have is formed by the media we watch. Our media outlets are incredibly biased. They have a vested interest in telling us what to think and how to think. They don’t have an interest in people thinking independently, it might mean their money and votes aren’t going the way they want.

The most valuable lesson I learned at school was in history. We had an amazing teacher who taught us to seek the meaning hidden behind the evidence. To seek out all the evidence, not just the stuff that’s handed to us on a plate. To always question how believable things are that we’re told.

And that is great to take through to work as well. We do a lot of negotiating with contractors and other people providing us services and we have to always ask : Are they telling us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ? Often they’ll leave things out where it’s not to their advantage. Or they’ll just blatantly lie where things like cost are involved. Except it won’t be a lie, they’ll just be economical with the disclosure of what’s actually included.

So – politics.

The system here is somewhat bankrupt. It should be a mix of ideology and personality. The parties should have conflicting ideologies, with the electorate picking the most appropriate for the condition of the country at the time. Personality should have its way too, with MPs reflecting the interests of their constituents. However … the ideologies have merged and the personalities get swamped underneath a demand for them to conform to the ideology. There are currently no personalities I would consider worthy of my vote. (Except Boris Johnson, he’s amusing)

Who are the parties ? The major ones are :

Labour – who were born from socialism but who have gradually gone right over the years. They are however, still dominated by the unions (with a puppet in charge at the moment) and they usually wreck the country after they’ve been in for a while.
Conservative – who put the country back together again after Labour but they are a very elitist bunch and end up looking after the elitist interest at the expense of the common citizen. No pay rise for more years than I can count – yet they vote themselves in above inflation pay rises for themselves.

There’s not actually that much to choose between them now, as their ideologies are merging.

Liberal – who try to come up with different policies but what they come up with is either touched with insanity or totally unaffordable. They’d bankrupt the country faster and harder than Labour ever did. Plus they ditched all their promises on day 1 of the current coalition. They have no credibility any more.

UK Independence Party – this is a bunch of incredibly dangerous people. They have the protest vote at the moment. But I think they have that because of the “None Of The Above” factor. And because the media like them at the moment. If you look behind what the media concentrates on, you find some utterly crazy policies and representatives who are utterly corrupt or detached from reality.

There’s also the Green Party – who focus on the environmental aspects. They’re a bit too small to make a difference though.

It would be quite nice to have a “None Of The Above” box on the election forms. Spoiling the voting paper or abstaining doesn’t really achieve very much. Even though I have written off the 5 major parties here, I did vote earlier although as usual I’ll not say who I voted for.

Enough of the politics though. It’s a bankrupt system that’s lost its credibility due to a lack of personailities worth voting for. But it’s our system … and it mostly keeps the criminals off the streets and away from hassling us. It would be nice though for :

A universal remote control would be a good thing. Especially if could add a zero or two to the bank balance or get that Pretty Lady to turn her head and spot the grin or other good things.

I’m making one of those at the moment. It’s about the cricket.

I’ve talked about being able to run at Warp Speed a few times here. I’ve loved doing that ever since I figured out how (there’s a technique that separates it from mere jogging) and there was a certain satisfaction to usually being the fastest runner in the team. Over short distances at least. I’d run out of batteries after that and the huffing, puffing and gasping for air would start.

(Actually – the huffing and puffing was due to hay fever pills that were having the opposite effect !)

Yeah – I liked having that feeling of wind rushing through my ears with sheer speed and cricket gave me the space to let me indulge that fully. And I could indulge my sense of inner amusement too by acting scary (yes – really!) fielding quote close in. And on my day, I was pretty good at it.

My other cricket strengths were bowling, where (on my day again because it depended on conditions) I could be a pretty dangerous medium pace bowler. I could make the ball move literally feet sideways through the air on its way down to the batsman. I could also bat reasonably well although usually ran out of batteries (and strength in the arms) before getting the big scores.

But recently ?

Cricket last year saw me play 3 games before my knees were too torn up to play. The first two were horrible. It was cold, damp and even in almost new spiked boots, I could barely get enough footing to stand up, let alone use Warp Speed. It’s like the grass reaches up and tries to either grab your foot or tries to slap it out from underneath you. One of the 3 dropped catches was due to my feet slipping out from underneath me when I tried to plant myself for the catch.

Embarassing huh ?

The third game was pretty good. Lots of sun and a very well prepared Tormarton ground. But it’s bad not running the ball down with that speed because you know that when you get there, you can’t throw it due to damage to the shoulder. It wasn’t all bad, I still had enough to do crazy things on the infield, like field balls standing on my head (it happened) and save lots of runs by looking scary and pro enough to make them just decide not to take me on.

All bluff of course 😉 Although I did earn my team the occasional valued wicket by making run outs happen and I did genuinely make people think twice about taking me on.

The decision ?

Even with the skin problems, I’m getting far more broken now as I approach 40. It’s not nice to admit that or even acknowledge problems that include that shoulder (good for half a good throw a game) but also a back that’s got painful all over now and muscles that really hate me now. Actually, I think that muscle thing is a side effect of the skin, all the moisture is going towards making the skin better leaving not enough to keep the muscles happy.

I should really have ditched the cricket maybe last year, with that shoulder being so poor (I have 95% movement but power throws and bowling are bad) and a general slow down in reactions. But a big reason was that it was becoming a bit of a chore, instead of the fun that it should be.

And that’s the real turning point for any decision. It doesn’t just apply to the cricket :

I know someone who’s given up reenacting because the enjoyment wasn’t there any more;
The cricket suddenly became terribly hard work;
And things like gaming seeming like a second job (this killed WoW and World of Tanks for me)

If it’s supposed to be fun but isn’t ending up that way, that’s the universe telling you to find something else to do.

Like cat pictures ! (Cue blatant sledgehammer like change of subject)

I’m not giving up on the cricket 100%. I’m not ready at the moment :

Skin is genuinely improving but it’s still ridiculously easy to set back the healing;
General ouchies
Too heavy

But I am seeing one by one, the bad patches turn perfect again. I have hope that by the end of the season, I may be able to report for duty as emergency sub. I’m too broken to force other people out of the team but … I’m still better than the 11th person (11 to make a team) that wasn’t there at all. And there might be a little comic relief too.

I know I enjoy the games with the team I’d turn out for. They’re a good mob. (Not saying who cos that would say who I work for – which isn’t going here !)

I may need a new hobby though to replace the cricket. Gaming isn’t as much fun for me now, mostly because my brain is frazzled after work and I don’t want to subject it to gaming. So how about :

Muahaha.
And driving people crazy with my habit of doing :

🙂

Liked the Blog cartoon.

My head’s been taunting me lately with regards putting stuff on here. I’ve been having the thoughts that frame a Wall Of Text post when I’m :

Trying to get to sleep
Halfway through reviewing a document
Waiting for the bus

With sleep, it puts my brain into a state that’s not conducive to sleep (although some of my posts ? lol!)
When working, it’s a distraction and probably shows that I need one of those task breaks to keep my brain fresh. There’s a reason why lessons at school tended to be about 45 minutes, it’s about as much time you can concentrate for.
And when I’m waiting for the bus, that’s about the longest I’ll be away from my home keyboards.

But when it comes time to put the thoughts into Wall Of Text ? Are there any left in any rational order ? Hell no ! Well, that’s not quite right. There’s a couple of themes in my head right now that I could write stuff on. But not tonight … cricket’s on and the half time break is about to finish.

Instead ? Pictures !
(and a very big thank you to all who I’ve borrowed pics from – there are far more and they all give me much needed chuckles)

Star Wars is coming back. And there’s a South Park link :

I should wear my hoodie more and the red shirts less. Wait … wrong scifi universe !

I don’t tend to get the gramma wrong, except when it’s intentionally aiming for a simulated type of speech. But I know I miss the occasional word out here and there. That’s either a sign of rattled marbles from two cricket ball incidents or … I’m thinking faster than my fingers can cope with.

I think I have a reputation for being indestructible. I try not to let my skin illness or my muscle/skeletal issues show to the outside. Same with my self doubt. We’ve had various people over the years who have really tested that strength by being obnoxious and quite scientific bullies. I’ve outlasted them all. But not many people knew that I was struggling.

Over to you – if you are being so strong that no one thinks you have a problem, yet you really need to talk to people about the Deep Stuff, pick a friend. You’ll have an army of them out there who will be over the moon to help.

Or there’s coffee. Actually – I posted that a bit comically but … the best opportunity to talk about stuff at work is over a coffee in the canteen, it’s a public place but it’s far more private than an open plan office. And if any of the work people are reading, I may not always be available but I will ALWAYS make time for you if you ask. Or any of the online people – I’ll just be afk a minute in the kitchen getting me coffee.

One of the incoming themes is age … I think the cricket playing is pretty much done for me now. But. (I’ll talk more about that in the post I make about it).

I wasn’t actually glued to the pooter as a teenager. That’ll surprise people ! I’d be out in the back garden in my cricket kit, throwing a tennis ball against the wall and whacking it when it came back. Or I’d be grinding the repeatability into the bowling action. I think that’s what really set up the natural fitness that I abuse now.

But if I do play again, I need to get that weight down again. Just a little. I don’t think I look particularly chubby but I know how much ballast I’m hiding under the t-shirt.

And my “THIS POST IS WAY TOO LONG” alert is binging away. I have lots more pictures too that I want to post ! Oh well. They’ll wait for another day. But there’s room for just one more :

You’re great people. All of you. And on that note – as one of my favourite Youtuber’s likes to close : “Goodbye – You’re in my hearts, goodbye, bye, by-click” (her version is way more adorable than mine).