Sleepypete's Pillow

It’s about me again today !

Even though I know I am far from perfect, there’s a big corner of me that absolutely hates being Less Than Perfect. I do get a lot of stuff right but it’s those little errors and missing of things that bite at my soul.

Things like – we had one of those meetings today where we talk all day about the most important assumptions about all corners of our business. That’s really important, as lots of decisions get made on those assumptions and it really helps if everyone is working off the same assumption …

Why’s that important ? If I’m going somewhere on a business trip with someone and we both make the assumption that the other is handling the transport, then both of us are in the poo because neither of us make arrangements. It’s like that with these assumptions but on a much bigger scale.

I handled most of the arrangements today – for getting data to people who need to see it. It’s sensitive data, which means we have to keep it away out of prying eyes (lol – management of information is a weird subject in our place, openness fights with confidentiality). That sensitivity means you have to react fast to get everyone looking at what they’re supposed to. We sometimes don’t get that right.

So why am I beating myself up over this ?

One of the workbooks was wrong. It contained a fraction of the information it should have. My fault, shoulda checked what got uploaded to make sure it was the right one. Dunno why the wrong one got uploaded actually. Fixed that yesterday (bit late) and it gave me the excuse to give a little info burst about today.

Silver lining. But … less than perfect again. A more perfect me would have added another little snippet of info that would have helped a lot of people out. As well as the Proper Place, I put the info somewhere else (hidden) too so our team could see it. I coulda put the link in yesterday’s info burst. Thought about it, didn’t do it. Why ? I dunno – less than perfect.

Note taking too – we’ve got good capture of what was discussed but I know I miss stuff that I should catch.

And things like not thinking up the good ideas in the meeting but having them pop up after it’s finished.

Enough about the meeting – I hope everyone else thought it went well. I’m always very tough on how I see how I do things, because I see all the little mistakes and mark myself down on them.

There’s lots of other areas where that Less Than Perfect gets to me. It’s a critical factor in why this skin condition isn’t repaired yet. The worst area is still the back of my knees. It has improved to the point where it’s smooth enough to run curling stones over (I’ve been waiting ages to use that analogy !) but they’re sore again now. I could probably fix them right up by using treatment gunk but … I want to be free of the need to use treatment gunk.

One of my flaws is that if I see an imperfection on me, I’ll attack it. Which is one reason the skin problem got as bad as it did, because by worrying at it, I’d make it worse. I have to maintain the discipline to let it heal on its own. It’s improving … just still very slowly.

Actually – I shall stop being stubborn about avoiding use of the treatment gunk. I’ll put some on in a minute. Honest.

My memory is Less Than Perfect too. It used to be near photographic, albeit not perfect. Damn near perfect recall but not complete. I can’t trust it now, that’s a lingering after effect of Nose Job 1. But … I know about that flaw, accept it and manage it. It’s acceptable to say “I can’t recall but I’ll take an action to check”, even better to have anticipated the memory issue and brought supporting info. Today’s supporting data involved having a live feed to the database we were reviewing. That worked better than anticipated. Perhaps I’ve sparked off a standard procedure for the next reviews ?

The memory thing is part of a deeper symptom, I’m definitely not as capable as I was before the Nose Job incident. Or is just that me thinking that and therefore making myself less capable. Self doubt can be crippling.

This psychological tendency gets me in the cricket too. Leaving the anger when dropping a catch aside, I’m a danger to myself when that happens as it normally leads to an anger fuelled power throw and then a scream of pain as my arm tries to follow the ball. Nah, it’s more the slight fumble which means the difference between perfect fielding and average fielding. Doesn’t matter if the batsman would have been safe anyway, I just aim for that perfection. And that self doubt slows you down and brings out the fumbling.

There’s a certain purity to perfection. Although there’s also a certain coldness to it.

Perhaps perfection is not the goal to aim for. Perhaps the aim should be a certain degree of perfection, leaving room for a little bit of clumsy randomness.

Think of music – with people like Bat For Lashes, the stage performance of Laura is far more powerful than the album performance. The imperfections add to its power. With Goldfrapp, I think their Seventh Tree album is their best because it sounds totally natural, Head First sounded forced and manufactured. Just compare Road To Somewhere (which is a thing of beauty and one of my favourites out of 12,000 in the library) and Head First which is also great but although closer to “perfectly made” … I prefer Road To Somewhere. (notice how the crowd aren’t getting involved in the Head First video)

Similarly – I’ll avoid the manufactured pop we get bombarded with in favour of these more gifted artists with far more character. The charm in the character far outshines the perfection of the production.

Yeah – I get stuff wrong. But I hope I get a lot of other stuff right. And along the way, I’ll have a lot of fun getting the most out of the imperfections. We own our flaws, as well as being a drawback we should see if we can turn them into assets.

And I’ll close with something that actually isn’t in that 12,000 song library – something Perfect. Oh look, their Very Best of is going for £3.99 on Amazon MP3. Uhoh …

One of the walking routes into work has street lights which have pigeons congregating on them. I keep a sharp eye on them in case they're having similar Evil Thoughts to the birds above.

Clap your hands as you approach. 9 times out of ten they'll fly away before you get there.

Seen a few crackers today … Which I’ve borrowed cos I like ’em.

If you see one of your’s in here, you have awesome taste in jokey pictures :

This Monday ? Had to take Friday off cos after 4 nights of critically lacking sleep I hit a wall where I dunno where I was. Needed the long weekend to get some of my marbles back where they should be. The long term answer is to try and lose some weight again as one reason I’m lacking sleep is acid, which I make when I’m too heavy.

The Daylight Savings Time change is different over here, according to Digiguide (it’s a TV guide but it can go months ahead and is the best way I have outside of Google for checking things like clock changes) it happens on Saturday 29th March. That’s incidentally the day before Mother’s Day, which is different over here too (is it ?).

Yellow Face Burns.

Sadly though, I think someone actually did wet his plants cos there was a definite smell of wee coming from the bus home. And I don’t think it was from the petrol tank … (I used to be able to detect a Liquid Petroleum Gas vehicle if I was following one)

One of the walking routes into work has street lights which have pigeons congregating on them. I keep a sharp eye on them in case they’re having similar Evil Thoughts to the birds above.

 Haha – I bet Scruff the dog had these thoughts about Patch the cat.

Remember the comment about the line between telling someone you think of them all the time and them thinking you’re a stalker ?

Yeah, I’ve thought that a few times. But not today. Although I suspect a few people have done this in response to my antics. Muahaha.

Last one – promise :

Ah ha ! The culprit for the smelly bus !

That goes way back – it’s a saying from childhood from when we lived in Northern Ireland.

That’s where I spent many a good year at primary school learning Stuff. But when we went out for day trips, it tended to be to the sea side. Also, when we visited my nan and grandad at holidays, we’d go by sea. So “I see the Sea!” was something reasonably rare but also marking things like holiday. I got my Rules Of Cricket “poster”* from one of these, it was on a visit to the Giant’s Causeway maybe 30 years ago.

*(can’t really call it a poster, it’s woven out of authentic Ulster Linen)

Enough reminiscing, for now :-). I may natter more about the Ireland years at some point. That gives me an idea actually 🙂 Been struggling for ideas to write posts about lately. I don’t believe in burdening people too much with my struggles, which seems to have been the theme lately. This week’s been a struggle, I took today off work to give me more regenerating time. Not had much sleep this week – I dunno, I put my head on the pillow and can’t find the Off Switch. So this week’s been a bit of a struggle. I disappeared from a leaving run last night after feeling the first signs of collapse.

I feel a bit better today after hitting the crash stops yesterday, hopefully I’ll be more back to normal by Monday. This part of the year is always a struggle for me, as the time between Xmas and Easter holidays catches me out. It is good to have people to grin at though, there’s a certain person who’s helped me out over the past few days and I’m sure she doesn’t realise how much that little smile brightens my day.

Wait – when does the “I think of you every minute” thing step from cute into stalker territory ? Maybe when the thoughts step from thoughts and into something more persistent and unwanted.

I dunno – that’s distracting me away from real purpose of post … A to Z time again ! I’m almost through listening to all the C albums … So what are they and what do I think of them ?

Katie Melua – Call Off The Search. Sometimes the songs don’t do the voice justice but … what a voice.

A Camp – their first album (A Camp) and Colonia. This was a band started up by Nina Persson as what she did next after the Cardigans broke up. There’s some amazing songs here, with that trademark voice leading the way. Algebra (this song gets me from the very first chords) and Here Are Many Wild Animals are just 2 highlights of many. Nina Persson just brought out a solo album called Animal Heart, which is still good just not as inspired as the rest.

Ani DiFranco – Carnegie Hall 4.6.02 – This one is ok. It’s not a favourite but there’s some good, some bad.

Carpenters Gold – these have their fans and their avoiders. Avoider is probably the best word, they stir up unwanted memories in some and unwanted emotions in others. I just hear a remarkable voice that was lost to us far too early singing pure, beautiful songs.

Catatonia greatest hits – someone laughed when they saw this in my library. I’m a quirky guy and I like variation. So I’m drawn to these weird people with their distinctive accents, strange songs and funny lyrics. You know Road Rage and Mulder and Scully but my favourite is Imaginary Friend. Not many songs take a twist in the middle like that one.

Beth Orton – Central Reservation. Can’t remember how I discovered this one, think it was an iTunes single of the week freebie. Good but not great but definitely worth a listen.

More Morcheeba ! – Charango continues their usual output. Again, it’s just that bit different to what I usually listen to which keeps it interesting. I get bored listening to the same thing over and over again.

Soundtracks – there’s a few of these in the C’s :
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Danny Elfman at work
Company of Heroes – game soundtrack, makes me think of trying the game (Steam freebie from a while ago)
Civilisation V
Conan the Barbarian – the original Arnie film soundtrack by Basil Poledaris. It adds a sense of freedom to a truly classic film.
The Core – laughable sci fi film. I really enjoy this one. Perhaps it’s the Kirsty Swanson as Astronaut factor.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – the film that brought foreign language back to popularity.
The Crow – tragic film, fitting soundtrack.

Classical :
Chopin preludes – there’s some unforgettable melodies here
Classic ads, Classical Hits, Classical music for relaxation (all stuff acquired on offer and there’s some true gems here)

Elaine Paige – Christmas ! Sickly sweet all the way but a lot of fun too.

Johnny Cash – the classics. Everyone has to have a bit of Johnny Cash in their libraries.

The XX with Coexist – not bad but a bit too manufactured compared to their first. Their XX album was that little bit different again, this one’s a bit generic and forgettable.

Two collections – iTunes has an annoying bug – it’s combined these two and I can’t split them. Meh. Buddy Holly was another taken from us too early and the other collection is from Dusty Springboard. Here’s two unforgettable classics : Son of a Preacher Man and Peggy Sue.

Sia – Colour the Small One. Again, what a voice. Highlights for me here are Breathe Me, Moon and Numb.

Norah Jones – Come Away With Me – yes please ! I would follow that voice anywhere. It has a purity, a weight, a clarity. You can close your eyes and it’ll carry you away.

Dire Straits – Communique. Not so much with this guy, although Mark Knopfler’s guitar playing makes up for his voice. He did albums as albums too. Whereas I thought Ellie Goulding’s Bright Lights had some amazing songs on it, I didn’t think it worked well as an album. Too much of the same in it. Dire Straits were another group that made albums where the sum was greater than the parts.

Madonna – Confessions on a Dance Floor. Madonna’s albums all follow themes too and they tend to be very different between albums. This one is pure disco, with thumping electronic beats all the way through. There’s stunning track after stunning track here and they all work well together. How High is one of my favourites here.

Texas – started listening to these again. They’ve made some cracking songs over the years and it was definitely worth getting the deluxe version of the Conversation for the live album on the second cd.

Enigma’s Cross of Changes – good, not as good as MCMXC AD.
Tracy Chapman – Crossroads – may have to hunt down more Tracy Chapman.

Cults – Cults. They hide their voices a bit under the instruments. Lyrics are very strange. I like ’em. Here’s Abducted.

And finally – one of the past, a truly golden oldie : Gloria Estefan’s Cuts Both Ways. Again with the purity of that voice, with some Latin fun thrown in there too.

It’s going to be a while before I get through the D’s … There’s a bunch of Doctor Who soundtracks in there that will take a while to get through ! Guess I’ll take that Wisely And Slow (little taster from the D’s …)

I think you'll like the IS, although as per usual, I'd take a test drive first to make sure it would fit with what you'd want in a car. It's an outstanding car but there's a few things that it could do better – I like hybrid personally but it's not everyone's cup of tea …

Have you watched Gravity yet ? Think you'd enjoy that one. Although it does have the "Oh hell the critics liked it" stamp of doom from the Oscars.

Often pretty to look at but I thought it had far too many problems and tried far to hard to even make my Bronze list I'm afraid.

We were blessed with quite a few decent movies in 2013. I’m watching one of them at the moment – Elysium.

What is it ? It’s a scifi spectacular based in the year 2154. Human society has been split in two, the majority live on Earth. An apparently post apocalyptic Earth with Los Angeles in ruins. The minority live in an orbiting space habitat called Elysium where they enjoy the benefits of hyper advanced technology. Things like being able to cure Leukaemia in minutes by effectively taking the body apart and putting it back together again the right way.

I’ll try and avoid too many spoilers but here’s the major characters :

Lead protagonist – Max. Who lives on Earth but dreams of reaching Elysium. He experiences a factory accident which irradiates him with a dose that will be lethal in 5 days. Desperate times indeed … The desperate measure is an exo suit that gives him super strength to counteract the radiation sickness.

With Max is Frey, who gives Max another very good reason for wanting to get up to Elysium.

Jodie Foster plays a megalomaniac defense secretary who is prepared to do anything necessary to protect Elysium.

Sharlto Copley (the breakthrough star of District 9) plays a wonderfully psychotic mercenary for hire who is Jodie Foster’s muscle. And by wonderfully psychotic, that’s definitely an understatement.

You have other characters in there as well but they take a second place to the leads and the technology the writers get to play with.

It starts with the space station – Elysium. There’s a lot done right here. If you’ve read the Ringworld books, that series has a massive ring in space orbiting a sun. It gradually spins, which keeps the air in. This time, it’s a much smaller station that is about 19 minutes travel time from Earth.

Aside – it’s not “centrifugal” force. That’s a fallacy invented to explain something without any true understanding of what’s going on. The BBC commentators in the Winter Olympics used it a lot in the bobsleigh coverage. The ball being spun on the rope doesn’t fly away due to mythical centrifugal force, it goes round in a circle due to centripetal force exerted by the rope. It’s similar with the air in a ringworld. The atmosphere wants to carry straight on outwards but is kept inside by the surface and high walls.

The average movie viewer doesn’t care about that though – it’s the visuals that count and they’re top notch.

Aside 2 – although they don’t mention it in the movie, there’s a series of Lagrange points up in space. They’re the places where things stay where they’re put. I’m assuming the Elysium habitat is at one of the L4 or L5 (between Earth and Moon – see link for more) points. Reason ? It’s in the same place in the sky. This is another sign of how they were clever, it’s presenting something complex in a simple way. People who know the orbital mechanics thing recognise it but … the average movie viewer isn’t interested.

Exo suits – these are coming. Perhaps not as gruesomely as in the movie (think chop shop but with a human having things screwed into him) but they’re on their way. Hopefully soon too because an exo suit, full or partial, will be an amazing way of getting our amputees their mobility back. The trick is to make the movement natural and precise and it’s that precision which will be the tough part of the pie. We’ll need to precision that lets us close fingers on an egg, without breaking the shell.

The progression from that is AI controlled droids – these guys are Nasty.

Using the brain as a memory store. I dunno the stats on this but we don’t use much of the space in our brains. Elysium sees data being stored in our heads. I think this is coming too, although the interface will need work. Nasty copy protection here ;-).

The medical tech – this is the true miracle. Will it be possible in 140 years ? I hope so.

Should you watch Elysium ? Hell yeah. It’s a great movie. There’s enough action and explosions in there to keep most movie watchers happy. And the science in there keeps the scifi geekster happy too. Although there are bad points that we won’t mention too much :

The engines on the spaceships. Ok, it is 140 years in the future ? Plausible ? Maybe.
Shooting down shuttles in a manner that will pepper the habitat with debris – ouch.
Having a handheld launcher capable of shooting down shuttles in orbit – want one.
Using computer speak from now (assembler language and BIOS screens) – make something else up !

Apart from that, it has pretty much everything : Great story, amazing visuals, science fiction that makes a lot of sense, excellent characters.

Well worth catching. I think I wrote about it around August when it was in cinemas, I just finished watching on Bluray and it still holds up. It’s not the best movie of last year, Gravity was better. Need to buy that.

I totally agree the IS is a much better car, I love mine to death and will upgrade to the IS in 2015

I’ve been playing with the new toy 🙂

I haven’t had an excuse to take it anywhere for pleasure, just business. We can ask for hire cars with work but I prefer not to for a few good reasons :

You can’t trust the hire car company – a few colleagues have been caught out by the hire car place claiming our people have damaged the car when the damage was either done by the hire car people or was on the car before it was dropped off. It’s a serious problem and our people have taken to taking camera phone pics of the cars as evidence.

The expenses cost difference is trivial. The way it works is : hire car cost is the hire charge plus fuel used. With our own cars, it’s a straight pence per mile (which incidentally hasn’t changed in 15 years, even though petrol has gone up from 80p/litre in 2000 to 130p/litre now). Because I have an economical car, I make a profit on the trip on the petrol cost alone although that goes away when Total Cost of Ownership comes in. We get 25p a mile, the CT cost about 13p/mile on petrol and 80+p/mile on TCO, although that would have gone down after the finance period finished.

My car is already set up for me with Bluetooth and satnav destinations. Well kinda, it’ll take a while for the satnav destinations to be programmed back in.

There’s too many variables from the actual drop off of the hire car.

And that’s leaving out the elephant in the car park of comparative quality between hire cars and what I’ll be paying loads for over the next few years.

I’ve done the business run twice now, it’s 120 miles each way so it’s a good drive but not too long. Most of it is motorway, so it’s where a relaxing cruiser comes into its own. Which is what the Lexus IS is.

This is going to read like an advert isn’t it ? Sorry about that – it’s just being honest ! The IS is my second Lexus after the CT and the CT was good enough to convince me that Lexus know how to make very high quality cars. The only problems with the CT were lack of power (10 secs to 60 but I like more) and a few trim niggles. It was an outstanding car but you could tell where unfortunate compromises had to be made to fit the price point and the concept.

The IS is better in almost every way, although they are two different cars with different interpretations of how some things should be done. Like me not knowing where the button to unlock the doors where, as it is done differently between CT and IS. Hitting “Park” would unlock the doors in the CT, the gear selection is done a bit differently in the IS.

But we don’t really care about that. How’s it do on the road ?

It’s a supremely relaxed cruiser. It cuts through the air effortlessly at 70 and the engine is barely above idle. That nets it about 51-52mpg on the long run. It got the 51.2 at the end of the return 120 miles yesterday. I’m hoping for better when the car loses some of the new car stiffness and in the summer. Hybrid tech is very interesting when implemented well but it does demand the engine run more in the winter to keep the warmth going.

The sound is supreme from Bluetooth streaming to the car. I read some stuff about incompatibility between the Bluetooth in the car and the iPhone 5, I suspect that’s more to do with the Apple side than the Lexus side. As in, Apple have variable quality and some of their kit just doesn’t work right. Like this Macbook Air struggling to stream over 2.4GHz wifi. I think I must have got lucky with my Iphone 5 and got a good one.

Yeah – I enjoyed the two trips and next week’s should be a good one too. It’s another meeting at the same place, this time I’ll have a new guy along. Actually, he’s an old guy because he’s been on the project before but has been on other things for quite a few years. It’ll be good to catch up.

Oh – weird coincidence : With my CT, the first time I tried to fill it up with fuel I came across one of those garages where it refuses to give you more than a thimbleful. Never had that problem again. With the IS, it happened again … first fill up, uncooperative pump. Hopefully I never see that problem again ! Another coincidence, it was at two different Insert Supermarket Name Here (same chain) garages …

One thing that was weird – getting almost 600 miles out of a tankful. It’s a 50mpg (claimed 60-63 but you rarely get the government figure) car with a 66 litre tank. That makes for lots n lots of miles …

Shake apart ?

My skin’s been mostly improving on the outside, although I’m not quite free of the need to treat it with the gunk fairly regularly. On the inside it’s a different story. I get the feeling my outsides will be capable of cricket but the insides won’t want to know. Whinge list ! :

Shoulder feels like it’s disconnected – like it’ll dislocate if I pull on something too hard.
Hip is still stiff
Back feels like it’s had concrete poured down my spine
Wrist badly needs some Game Therapy*
Fingers still cramp up at the slightest excuse
And the rest
*(it’s weird, the RSI in my right wrist seems to go away with certain games# – dunno why)
#(HEY ! I caught that snigger … single player games@ seem the best type)
@(Ooo eck – think I’m digging the hole deeper there)

I’m going to stop that little train of thought before it plumbs new depths of deviant depravity.

I’m sometimes hobbling because the skin on my knees isn’t cooperating, I’m sometimes limping because my hips or knees are being stiff.

Getting old 😉 But … one thing that’s guaranteed to make me pick up my feet, stand up straight and Walk Strong :

Pretty Ladies !

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s being caught mid – OUCH, it takes the gloss off that Big Grin 😉

Oh – everything’s on pause, I have one of those classic albums on. It’s Gran Turismo and you’ll recognise My Favourite Game. And that’s not their best album !